Kat. Kai. Megumi.

My Journey

2012-02-14T23:54:00.000-08:00

The characters, plot, places, and other stuff that you will read in here are based on a time when I was still a young girl. It was an unexpected day where I was miserable, left alone, and had to walk on my own and in the course of my walk, I met someone who helped me get home safely. This is my 4th year paper for our own Metaphorical Journey inspired from Dante Allegeri's Inferno. Hope you enjoy reading it:

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TERRACE I: The Darkness

“Mom…? Dad…?” a little voice cried shakily in the midst ofthe darkness followed by quiet continuous sobs “Sister? Brother…? Are youthere? Please don’t leave me alone here…” the little voice cried in a way thather words were suffocating her and that she was choking them out and, at thesame time, asking to no one in particular for in the sea of darkness, there wasno way to tell whether or not somebody was there.

“I’m sorry” she cried, sobbing more “I won’t cry anymore…I’ll be stronger… please help me… somebody…” and yet there was still no answer.

The little girl felt lonely so she curled up and hugged herknees tightly and continued to sob. She couldn’t even tell where she is becausethe darkness was so overwhelming, she couldn’t see, feel, taste, hear or evenspeak properly. She cried, more quietly this time, and kept on whispering wordslike “I’m alone…” and “They hate me…” or “I don’t deserve to live…”

“What are you saying?” a voice that sounded like a beautifulsong asked quietly.

“Leave me alone” was her reply and continued whisperingwords to herself. She was no longer crying but rather, she was contemplatingall the negative events in her life.

“Why are you mad?” the voice asked with the same singsongvoice.

“Why do you care?” the girl angrily asked “Leave me alone”

“I can’t” the voice replied.

“Why is that?” she asked in irritation.

“…because you called me” the voice replied.

“When did I call you?” she asked. “Are you dad? Brother?”

“You forgot when you called me?” he asked in a surprisedtone and seemed sad “I’m neither your dad nor your brother”

“Then you got the wrong person…” the girl replied and wasabout to curl up again when she felt a warm hand over her shoulder. For thefirst time, the girl felt something. It was warm and comforting, his hand overher shoulder reminded her of someone… someone she used to go with all the time,but forgot somewhere along the way.

“I don’t think I’m mistaken” he said with a small chuckle “Iknow that you’re the one who called me… I am sure it is you”

“Then when did I call you?” the little girl asked. Somehow,her irritation was gone and she felt a little more relaxed now that this personwas with her.

“All the time… you always did” he laughed again. Every timehe laughs, the girl felt more alive, stronger and livelier. Without realizingit, she was already following the stranger’s energy that made her stand up.

When she successfully stood up, she once again realized hersurrounding – the darkness and even though she was holding his hand, she wasn’tsure whether or not it was real or not. She immediately fell on her knees andstarted crying.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked in despair.

“What?” he asked.

“Why do you have that wonderful voice and that warm touchthat lifts my hopes up?” she asked angrily “You make me feel like I can escapefrom this eternal darkness but how can I? How can we? What can you do when youyourself can’t see anything in here?”

“Little one” he said as he placed his hand on the girl’shead “Do not rely on what you see because that is what makes you afraid, closeyour eyes and trust me”

“How can I trust you?” she asked quietly, as fat tearsswelled up in her eyes “I don’t even know you at all!”

“It is up to you to decide. You called me so here I am” hesaid in a patient voice “No matter how long your decision will take I willremain here, waiting. If you want to go with me then we shall leave but if youwant me to go… then I will do so”

The little girl stared at the darkness around her. She feltthe loneliness, the despair that the place posses. She placed both her hands inher heart and closed her eyes and whispered something quietly.

“I believe you have made your decision” he said quietly andhe took her hand.

“Can I ask for your name?” the girl asked quietly.

“I don’t have to tell you because you know it” he replied asthey continued walking in the darkness.

TERRACE II: The Sounds

For who knows how long, the man and the young girl walkedand walked into the endless darkness without any assurance of finding any signof light.

“Ummm…” the little girl asked quietly “Do you think I’ll beable to see my family again?”

“What makes you think that way? Of course you will” he said.He halted from walking and kneeled to face the girl, he touched her face withboth his hands and said “We are almost there. I will never lead you astraybecause I don’t want to lose your trust”

The girl nodded quietly with her eyes still closed. Shesuddenly tightened her grip when she heard a desperate scream.

“What is that?” she asked in panic but the man did notanswered. “Mister… I’m scared”

“Do not open your eyes” he instructed but as they continuedto walk, the screams were becoming more and more distracting that the littlegirl was actually shaking as they walk on. She couldn’t help imagine a lot ofthings and the more she hears the desperate screams, the more afraid she felt.

“Mi…Mister” her voice stuttered “I… I…” she was surprisedwhen they suddenly stopped and a very frightful scream of a familiar voice canbe heard. Tears started falling from her closed eyes.

“What is wrong?” he asked quietly.

She didn’t reply but continued crying. She fell on her kneesand continued crying yet she kept her eyes closed. The man kneeled towards herand waited for her to speak.

“I’m scared…” she quietly said and continued crying “I… I…that scream” she continued crying but whenever she can, she tried to choke outthe words that she wants to say “…my mom’s… and my dad’s!”

The man remained quiet and let her cry as much as she wants.

“What is it about your mom and dad that makes you sad?” heasked when she seemed to have calmed down.

“I… I’m not sure” she said truthfully “The voice I heardreminded me of them… Mister, are they hurt?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” he asked quietly.

“I… I don’t want to” she replied quietly.

“Why?”

“Because… if I see them, I might not want to get out of thisplace…” she said quietly as if trying to find the words.

“Speak of the truth” he said.

“I’m scared to know” she quietly replied and clung on to himtightly “I’m not sure if what I’m hearing is true and… I don’t really know” andshe buried her face into his chest “I’m scared…”

“My little one” he said with a calm voice that seemed tohave assured the little girl “Don’t worry, everything will be alright” he thencarried her and whispered “Trust me, everything will be alright”

The girl nodded in response and fell asleep after all hercrying.

TERRACE III: The Stranger

“Little one… wake up” the beautiful voice whispered sweetlytowards the young girl in his arms. The little one quietly moved and opened hereyes. She was surprised to see the light that surrounds the whole area. As iffor the first time in her life, she saw the beauty of the trees, the land, thesky, the leaves… everything was a work of art and its beauty was so overwhelmingshe started dancing.

“Such beauty! Isn’t this place wonderful? Oh mister, thankyou! Thank you!” she cried happily as she stretched her arms up to the sky andhappily cheered in a loud voice “Thank you, thank you!”

“I’m glad you’re happy now” he replied not leaving thedarkness of the cave.

“Mister” she said reaching out towards him “Please come outto the light! It is so beautiful! Thank you for guiding me!”

“Little one, do you remember me now?” he asked quietly.

The girl’s eyes widened as she slowly let go of his hand. Itmade her think of who he really was. “I…” she said quietly said “I’m not sure”.She stared at her feet and felt a bit down “I’m not sure”

She felt ashamed not to remember him at all.

He placed his hand on her head and said “That is okay youngone, there will come a time wherein you will no longer be as young as you arebut you will be lost again in the darkness but don’t forget to always call forme because I will always come to your side”

“Mister… can I ask for your name so I will never forget?”she asked quietly.

He smiled as his face slowly came out from the darkness andwas illuminated by the bright light and mouthed his name. The little girlsmiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek and said “Thank you very much. You areno longer a stranger now”

“I have never been one” he said with a wink and went backinside the darkness.

“Please help the others” the little girl cheered happily asshe watched him walk away. “See you soon, Jesus Christ”

Unfinished Story

2012-02-01T20:40:00.000-08:00

This morning, I did something unusual: I checked the "DRAFTS" of my email. It's not really a weird and scary thing but it's more on... why did I bother to do that today? I have a long list of work to do but I had to sit down and really check my drafts one by one. So As I was browsing through my unsent emails and some links that I just saved, I saw this story that I've written that I can't remember now. It's kind of long so beware:

I closed my eyes. I can't breathe. I tried to suck in the remaining air around me but there's just not enough oxygen for my already exhausted body. I guess this is the end. Can I just say.... goodbye?

"Mikan! Move out!" a short-haired woman cried as she pushed me out of the way. I was also able to react and we were able to evade the large truck that was thrown our way. Thankfully, I placed a teleportation alice in me, which made moving from one distance to the other easier.

"Sorry..." I said. I was finding it hard to move or to breathe. We've been running around ever since I woke up this morning --I actually didn't slept. My body was weak and my mind was going blank. I had no idea what to do anymore and everything just felt like a very distant dream, a bad one at that.

"Move to the sides, we'll make a quick escape by that time, okay?" she confirmed. I nodded as I stared at her. This wasn't the kind of reunion my mom would probably want for the both of us. In the middle of a fight, struggling to survive. I bet she was disappointed after all the times that she had been waiting for us.

My mom made a quick glance from behind where her trusted partner Shiki was waiting. They both nodded and moved. I was to move back as far as possible as they try to divert the enemies in another direction. I teleported as far as I can but though their attempt to divert them was a success, there were still some going after me. I was an easy catch. As I teleported from tree to tree, trunk after trunk, I was no longer sure where I was going. I saw a burrow and immediate teleported there and hid myself. If there was one thing I had as an advantage, I have a nullification alice. No matter how much they try to search their area using their alice, I will nullify it to hid myself.

Silently, I hid myself. I can hear footsteps all around me. Leaves rustling here and there. I tried my best to stifle any sound that I produce. If possible, not breathe even if I needed more air. I watched from inside the burrow. It was dark and there was no way to tell where a person is.

After a few more moments, everything was quiet. I wanted to relax but it was too early to do so. I still have to find my mom and Shiki. As I took a deep breathe, I stared at the entrance of the burrow and saw a foot. I shivered.

"Mikan" the familiar voice said. It was mom! I wanted to come out but I wanted to wait for her to call again "Mikan, where are you? Shiki and I are here?"

I just watched her feet move in front of the burrow. I didn't move. There was something peculiar going on and I wasn't sure what. As I waited longer, I heard the female voice turn into a man. "That rotten kid is nowhere to be found"

"Yeah... I can't use my alice to find her... she's a nullifier" another voice said.

"Let's move over there"

"Sure"

And there was silence. I hugged my knees to comfort myself. It was cold and I was alone. So much has happened and I don't know what to do anymore. As I sank into my own thoughts, I heard a loud rustling sound of somebody walking towards where I was. I remained still like earlier.

As I tried not to breathe, I almost screamed when somebody entered the burrow. He immediately went towards me and fell. I stared in shock.

"NATSUME!" I cried in a not so loud voice.

"I knew you would hide here" he said trying his best to seat up but he seems so tired, he was literally passing his body weight to me. I helped him sit up but he was just too weak so I allowed him to place his head on my lap and let him rest. I stroke his hair quietly as I stared at his tired face.

As I did that, he opened his eyes and pinched my nose making me blush in surprise.

"Idiot..." he said "Stop playing with my hair or I'll burn yours"

I couldn't help but smile at what he said. After this long day, it was the most relieving statement I've heard all day. We've been running around, finding out who my parents were. Everything exhausted me. Everything was tear-jerking and I felt like my eyes were so dried out, I wouldn't be able to cry in years.

"Thanks Natsume" I said as he closed his eyes again. As I smiled, I couldn't help but believe that we can still have a better day after this. At that moment, tears fell down from my eyes. I didn't know why but they just fell. Not stopping but flowing continuously. I know that Natsume knew I was crying, some of my tears fell on his face but he did not say anything to stop me, he just let me cry my heart out.

The night was long but I knew it was far from over.

----O.o-----

When I woke up, I realized that I was leaning on Natsume's chest. He didn't seem to bother and he seemed like he was at peace but I immediately moved away knowing that he was more tired that I am. He didn't seem to bother that I moved, he remained unmoved.

"Natsume" I started as I faced him.

He didn't react. I guess he was too tired to even react. I tried to look around and see what was happening outside but I don't want to dare go out of the burrow. Somehow, Natsume's presence made the burrow felt like a home to me.

As I took a peak outside, I saw the bright morning light shine upon us. I had no idea what time was it but it was bright and the sun was up. I tried to listen for any sound but there was nothing. Using my teleportation alice, I moved from one distance to another quietly. Everything was quiet, it was scary. As I searched the area more, I heard a nearby stream with it's peaceful flowing sound. I went to it with caution and washed my face. After doing so, I took my handkerchief and dipped it into the water.

When I got back at the burrow, Natsume was awake.

"Where did you go?" he asked demandingly.

"I just searched the area and see if there is anybody" I said approaching him and I wiped his face. "I found a nearby stream to freshen myself up"

He didn't react anymore. He was already too weak to even stand up, let alone find me that evening.

"Natsume" I said as I wiped his wounds "Take care of yourself"

He didn't react. I continued to at least try to clean his wounds but he was quiet all the while. When I was finished, we sat there in peace.

After probably an hour or so of waiting, Mikan felt her stomach grumble. She didn't bother to say anything about it because she knew that Natsume would be hungry too.

"You're hungry?" he asked quietly. I didn't want to answer his question but my stomach kept on rumbling for me to deny.

I just nodded quietly. He suddenly stood up a bit shakily and I supported him immediately.

"Let's look for food" was all he said and we went out of the burrow quietly. When I first went out, I was petrified, but somehow, Natsume's presence assured me that it'll be all okay.

So I based this story on my favorite Manga/Japanese Comics: Gakuen Alice or Alice Academy. This is actually a fan-made story. So I'm a fan and I wrote this story. It's been a while since I last read this Manga. After deciding to stop reading for a while, I have lost track of the story and the characters. From time to time, I reminisce but it's not the same as before. So when I saw this fanfiction that I've made, I can't help but laugh. I actually do write about things like these? Huh? I can't help but laugh at the thought but I actually do. I have an account for writing fanfictions but even when I stopped watching animes and such, why do I still love to write? The passion for creativity and writing a good story has never died in my heart... I wonder why?

This is my favorite scene so far. It's not because the mom died but it's the part where Natsume willingly gave his Healing Alice Stone. Natsume's life span is short, every time he uses his power called alice (his is fire), he actually uses part of his life. So when he's weak, he uses this Healing Alice Stone to heal his wounds. So why did I love this scene? Because when he gave away his alice stone, he actually gave up the possibility to live longer. Sacrifice. It reminded me of the One who died so I may live.

I'm not the best writer out there but the passion to write never died down. I still want to write and I still want to continue writing. Recently, several stories have been developing in my mind and how I want to open a laptop and start typing about my thoughts, ideas and the story that I want to develop but I always find it awkward to write when somebody is around or when I am distracted but unlike the story above, I haven't forgotten the plot of the most recent story I had in mind. I have more than 3 stories recurring in my mind, stories that I've developed since my high school days and I'm going detail per detail in planning how the plot should go. I guess the biggest setback now is actually producing the book. Haha.

BUT I have a confession here. Unlike before where I am willing to compromise my standards, I somehow can't and will not let my standards be compromised just because it's a story. My thoughts and imaginations are now influenced by my Christianity and I can't help but just let the best love story that God wrote for me reflect in the stories that I write. I haven't found the "one" I am to marry --if I will marry--but I do found the One who has died on the cross for me. Jesus is more than enough.

I'm also sharing a good song on what Jesus sees in us. It's "What Love Sees" by Mac Powell :)

The Vine

2012-01-11T00:51:00.000-08:00

Source: Karen's Whimsy

John 15:1-2 (NCV) I am the true vine; my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that does not produce fruit. And he trims and cleans every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce even more fruit.

Happy Day 6!

The one week fasting is almost over and it happened so fast I felt like my life just flashed before my eyes. Today, I thought it was a Friday only to realize that it's a Wednesday! It's a LONG week because I never realized that I had so much time but in a way, it also felt so fast because everything's just happening one after the other. I just felt like everything's moving so fast but in a slow-mo moment.

Anyway, I'm blogging because these past few days, God just kept pounding my heart, breaking it into a billion pieces. I feel hurt and torn but also at peace and well-loved. Weird? YES! God has been dealing with me and different issues of my heart that I didn't know I had before --well, I knew I had them I just didn't know how to deal with them and now, God is answering my prayers and as He deals with my issues, I really feel torn apart but so thankful for the whole thing. I feel torn apart because the process is painful: rejection, disappointments and a whole lot others but the thankfulness comes with the fact that I am part of the vine! I am part of the vine and Jesus is trimming me! He is cleaning everything that hinders me from bearing fruit and I can sincerely claim that He is pushing me to go for a next level of walk with Him.

Daniel 3:17-18 (NCV) If you throw us into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from the furnace. He will save us from your power, O king. But even if God does not save us, we want you, O king, to know this: We will not serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up."

Last night, I read 1 Peter 5 but because I couldn't feel that God is clearly speaking to me through that bible chapter, I decided to seek a different book. I wanted to read Nahum but when I passed by the Book of Daniel, I felt God telling me to read chapter 3 and I highlighted that part.

As God is trimming me from the inside, He is also planting a heart of no compromise in me! A heart that seeks to honor Him more than anything else in this world. I know I can't do that but only through grace alone but I am amazed and humbled by the things God is doing to me even if it can be very painful at the moment. He is looking at something that is eternal, so the pain is temporary but the character that will be refined as I feel the fire consume me is something that will last forever.

Hunger Pangs

2012-01-08T21:12:00.000-08:00

Credits to: The Daily Green

It's DAY 4 of Prayer and Fasting!

The past few days had been AWESOME. I definitely feel weaker than before and working, analyzing and just doing the stuff I'm supposed to do here in the office adds a bit to the mental-gymnastics but that's not the point of praying and fasting. I fast and pray because I want to be hungry and be filled with the Holy Spirit. 2012 has come and what better way to start the year is to seek Him. God is on top of my priority list.

Just to share a gist of what happened the past few days, I've attend the daily prayer meetings at the VCF Pioneer Mainhall every 7pm to 9pm. I always arrive when the worship team is already singing and everyone is on their feet worshiping the Lord. I position myself in a corner where I can seat on the floor and rest my back on the wall. I prefer that because it makes me feel at home which makes the whole worship experience more personal. So as I rest my back on the whole, for the past worships, I've been crying my heart out in thanksgiving and praise to Him! He has come through for me so much and I feel so undeserving to have Him and receive His mercy and grace yet you can feel His presence there, beside you.

I've met Jona in the 2nd day of Prayer and Fasting. She's a new believer who is excited to be water baptized. I'm amazed at how meek and peaceful she is, taking the moment that even if she's alone, she went ahead and showed up to worship the Lord. AMAZING! The joy of worship isn't about the friends you have beside you but just that moment of singing and praising the God who created the world who cared enough to send His Son, Jesus Christ, to set you free from your sins. It's a memorable moment to just watch her sing and worship. I can't help but feel so blessed that God is calling out different people from different walks of life, regardless of age, all empowered by the Holy Spirit.

Yesterday is my first meeting with my Victory Group (VG). I discussed with them Exodus 17. I'll most probably a separate post on it but the whole point of Exodus 17 for me is how God asking us to come before Him, surrendering and obeying His will. In surrendering to God, there is victory! I personally experienced that last Saturday (Day 2) when I surrendered something that is BEYOND me. I can't act on it personally and I can't go to places. I felt so powerless and unable but God is really true to His promise that if I surrender it to God, He is faithful to help you! He came through. I thank God for answering my prayers!

A whole lot more have happened in the past three (3) days and because it's Day 4, only God knows what is to come! I know that God has prepared new surprises today and I trust Him that He will be with me in every step of the way.

Psalm 37:23-24

When people's steps follow the Lord, God is pleased with their ways.

If they stumble, they will not fall, because the Lord holds their hand.

Just want to share a song from Matt Redman:

More of Him, Less of me

2012-01-05T23:08:00.000-08:00

Seven days of Prayer and Fasting!

Every year, our church, Victory Christian Fellowship (VCF), holds a seven-day prayer and fasting just a few days after the New Year celebration. It's a good kick-off for the year to seek God and ask for guidance and grace for the whole year. It's a season of going hungry not for the purpose of diet and to lose the holiday flabs but to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

The first time I heard about this, I was very excited. It's 2010 and I felt that I want to join but partially hesitating. Because of my lack of enthusiasm and want to participate, I wasn't able to complete the one-week fasting and just felt like I'm more of dieting than actually praying and fasting. Fasting without prayer is dieting, by the way.

So when 2011 came, I really prepared myself not realizing that God was preparing me more. Days before the scheduled date, I've slowly loss apetite. I didn't bother eating much and I wanted to eat more fruits than actual meals and a day before, somebody told me that the fasting starts tomorrow! Of course I panicked. Last year was a mess and I don't want to mess up this year but by His grace alone everything went well. I had an amazing encounter and I feel so blessed to fast and pray and worship Him with an empty stomach with a full heart.

2011 has been an amazing year and I felt that fasting is a great way to kick-off the year which is why I'm participating in the fast again this year. I know it's becoming an annual thing but I have to say that even if it is an annual thing, it's not the same every year. This year, I have more specific goals and I have more things that I'm praying for. Things that I believe God is planting in my heart! Yesterday is the official day when the fasting starts and after attending the prayer and worship last night.. WOW. I feel so blessed.

This is just me being me... taking a picture of my "Angry Bird" with the "DAY 1" I made myself! hahahaha

When I came to the new Pioneer Center last night, I have a lot in mind, burdens and annoyances, concerns and crazy thoughts but as we all worshiped and prayed, slowly I felt my knees giving away and my eyes crying like there's no tomorrow. God speaking directly into my heart and I felt that He loves me, He cares for me and that I seriously need Him more than anything or anyone else in my life. It's difficult to explain the encounter I had with God but more than anything else, I just feel so blessed, so loved and so happy that I can worship God forever.

It's just Day 1 and I'm believing for more encounter this coming days! Praises to God!!! :)

Here Comes 2012!!

2012-01-02T21:22:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year!

I have never imagined that 2011 will go by so fast. I, honestly, can still remember how 2011 started. It was simple and cousins stayed at our place for the new year. We were teasing each other, laughing and had to buy more than two bags of chips because my cousins and nephew are consuming it like rice. Then fast forward to my September which is the month of my birth where my expressed couldn't be drawn by any pencil, ballpen, maybe an abstract would do because I didn't realize that it's already 'ber' months!!! And now, it's 2012! Wow!

A lot of things happened to me this 2011! If I am given a chance to tell everyone what happened this 2011, it'll be a mixture of laughter, sadness, anger, peace and love. Yes, love. It's not love for someone who will be your life partner but LOVE for my family, my friends, the people I meet along the way and love for my One and Only God. 2011 wouldn't be as great if I didn't experience all those challenges and learned a whole lot of new things even up to the very end of the year!

I became addicted to this game SIMPLY because I had a crush on the character I'm playing. Admit it.. he's cute :)

One of the distractions I had for 2011 is RPG games that can be downloaded at my itouch... :)) It's a distraction BECAUSE I have a gamer heart who wouldn't let a good story go unfinished and so far... I've completed only one out of the four RPG that I have. Yes, yes it's weird but because of the game's probing to buy this using actual cash, etc. isn't something I patronize which makes the whole game a lot harder than those who actually play the game and buy stuff for their convenience. But anyway, I'm going for the hard mode now... in hopes that I'll get a better pet and of course a whole lot more chance to level up. I've never really made it a point to reach level 100 but somehow I want to achieve that in this game. Yikes. Addiction! :))

Oh, by the way! One of the best way to start the year is to buy a new bible!!!

Yup, it's my new bible and I love it. It's as big as an encyclopedia but it has good reading materials that can help you relax and just doze your mind of every now and then. There are devotionals and side readings which can help you understand the chapter you're reading better. I've had a LOT of hesitations when I bought that but what I felt I did wrong for the past few weeks is to spend on what others want and nothing for myself. So if I deserve any gift this year, it'll be a great bible for my perusal! I love it though I'm a bit uneasy in turning the pages since it's new and I don't want to destroy it in just a couple of days... haha.

It's officially 2012 and I think I haven't gotten over 2011 as I should have but no regrets, keep moving forward in faith, love, hope and truth! :)

Happy 2012 everybody!

"God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him may not be lost, but have eternal life."

John 3:16

My White Christmas

2011-12-27T22:40:00.000-08:00

Hebrews 10:25 (NCV)

You should not stay away from the church meetings, as some are doing, but you should meet together and encourage each other. Do this even more as you see the day[a] coming.

What happened for the last few weeks? I can hardly remember! I have been so BUSY. I never realized that I'll be attending party after party, associating with people here and there and running around managing two to three things at a time. Thank God I survived, seriously.

So to help you understand everything I've gone through, it all starts on December 14, my sister's birthday. We had an unexpected dinner at Eastwood which wasn't so bad except for the crazy traffic that took us more than an hour before we can reach the place. Upon arrival, I felt rev up thanks to my family. Days prior to my sis' birthday, I've been sleeping late for reasons I do not remember now that when we got home around 10 in the evening, I sank into our sofa and fell asleep. My mom had to wake me up so I can wash up and transfer to my room --talk about tired and that's Day 1!

Day 2 has arrived. It's our client's Christmas Party. MPIC Christmas Parties always comes with a BAM! The energy and the spontaneity of the program, the people and even the moment just takes your breathe away and makes you realize that it's already 11 in the evening! I had been in-charge of handling all the cash gifts, cash raffle, raffle prizes and the Christmas baskets! I had my hands a bit full that night and I had been carrying Christmas baskets, hams, etc. here and there while asking people to sign the receiving copy and also bid goodbye to those who are leaving for home. I was able to go home around 1:30am. I declined their kind invitation to attend a Banana Split taping at Club Mwuah but because I had a lot of obligations for the next few days and my body's dead beat after running around.

It's Day 3 - December 16. It's the Christmas Party of VCF Pioneer for all Volunteers and Leaders. I'm so excited to attend this because I can't help but be excited for the opening of the new Pioneer Mainhall.

Here's a good picture of the mainhall's size... BIGGER and BETTER :)

So I was very excited to attend the party but then some concerns were raised. Tomorrow (17th) is the Christmas Party slash Outing of our company at Enchanted Kingdom. I am part of the Christmas Party committee and we still haven't finished with all the prizes, gifts, program, etc. I had to delay going to Pioneer for that and when we finally decided to just go there around 7 in the morning, we went home. I was able to come late to Pioneer and upon arrival I felt so drained. I praised God for the beautiful center but I am at the brink of fainting. After a few minutes of relaxing, I was able to recover and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

It's Day 4! Whew! I woke up 6:20am instead of 5:30!!! I had to be at the office around 7am and it looks like an impossible task now. I rushed up and down our house and had to throw everything inside my bag. When I finally finished packing up, I took a cab to the office. I arrive around 8:08 or 8:12... I can't remember and I went straight to work. I printed everything I needed. Angel, Sarah and Jen were there already and I feel really bad for making them wait. On the way to Seafood Island, I couldn't help but fall asleep. I'm dead tired and the day is just starting! The program was kinda out of order but it was fun how I have been given the power to penalize people who are going against the rules. When the games started, everybody was just up to the challenge and we couldn't help but laugh a lot and just enjoy the rest of the games.

Of course for every company outing a picture is a necessity! ;)

Afterward, we went to EK. It had been a while since I last went there and I couldn't help but say I had a great time! :) The team I was with is great and catching up with Angel after being officemates for so long yet never having the chance to talk. It was smooth and simple fun and it was something that: 1. drained the energy out of me but 2. also gave me extra energy to go on.

Day 5. The last day of all the events... my Victory Group's Christmas Party. I woke up a bit late and I seriously feel so sleepy. I wrote all my messages to them and had to rush to and from my room. As I travelled to Pioneer, a lot of things go through my mind but I couldn't help but say I'm just SO tired that I may end up fainting in the midst of it but nope. I didn't faint.

The VG Christmas Party is simple and fun. It's just us, together and complete for the first time!! I feel so thankful that Monica really made an effort in making the program and just being spontaneous all throughout the whole event. I asked for any feedbacks and learnings they had for the year and listening to them has blessed my heart so much because each one of them are growing in the Lord.

Here's a picture of the books I gave away this Christmas. :)

Every party had been amazing. I haven't included the core group party and my party with my BES friends but because I don't want to overflood this with too much details, I just want to say that I am so thankful and blessed for the life I have. There's nothing more wonderful than what I have now and I have only Jesus to thank for.

Here's a song I got from Hannah that I really enjoyed. I was once lost and I had a lot of issues in my heart but because Jesus cared and loved me and helped me face my issues... now I have learned to find joy in everything that happens in my life.

A Day to Remember

2011-12-06T19:36:00.000-08:00

It's 9:30am. I woke up from the voice I heard. I quietly listened and recognized the voices... Monica and Dem slept over at my place to help me finish laminating all the bookmarks to be given away for the Christmas Party. I decided to just sleep again since I still feel a bit dizzy.

10:30am. I woke up a second time. I decided to open my bible and read a Psalm like I usually do. As I read my bible, certain thoughts came to my mind and I tried looking for a particular verse and I felt annoyed more and more by the fact that I couldn't find it. I felt a bit disappointed with myself. So I got out of bed and went downstairs in annoyance.

11:00am. I told my mom that there's a laminating film stuck in the machine which halted the whole process of laminating the bookmarks. My mom called our neighbor who can help us and upon doing so, I chose to reflect more --to defeat the annoyance that's keeping me from enjoying my morning.

12:00pm. Lunch time. The machine is finally up and running and I'm multi-tasking between completing the Human Bingo Game and the lamination of the bookmarks. PRESSURE!

1:30pm. After we had lunch, we made an agreement to leave by 2:30pm so Monica can go home and take a bath so she can attend the Christmas Party while Dem can go home, take a bath then go to school.

3:00pm. PANIC. I took a bath, picked up everything that I need and went off. I tried looking for a cab but to no avail, I couldn't find one. I passed by a grocery and bought as many chocolates as I can which will be given away as prizes for the games.

4:00pm. I'm texting, calling and panicking while sitting still at the jeepney. The program's starting and I'm the program manager and I'm not even there!!!! I wanted to kick the driver to drive faster, throw the stuff I'm holding at somebody passing by just to vent out all the stress and I wanted to say cursed words just for the sake of letting all annoyance go... but I did none of those things, I just sat there quietly.

4:15pm. I'm at the end of my line. I just felt so irresponsible for being late and asking Eunice to run an errand for me. Responsibility theme is a killer! I felt that coming late is SO WRONG... but then I decided to PRAY.

4:30pm. I ran for my life to get there. I felt so tired and to my GREAT SURPRISE, everything is AWESOME. The two hosts are really good and everyone's having fun. I couldn't help but feel amazed and thankful for this.

Time onwards... I don't remember the proper sequence now but I do remember thinking of a game on the spot to compensate for the cancelled game and I had to adjust and even host the second part of the program. It was quite tiring and fun but one thing I did realize... GOD is there.

Psalm 46:10

Be still and know that I am God.

I know how wrong I am by not trusting in God more. I just felt like I've been a failure in trusting Him but He never fails to show me how trustworthy He is. I love You, Jesus.

December 3, 2011. A day I shall remember forever!!!

A lot of Good byes

2011-11-13T18:43:00.000-08:00

Wow. I just realized that I've already lived 21 years of my life and it all happened so fast and yet it feels like my life is just starting. I've been for the last years of my life a Christian, a transformed individual who used to say a lot of cursed words and has a wide-range vocabulary specially when it comes to insulting, making fun and just teasing innocent by-standers. I am also quite knowledgeable in understanding green jokes or double-meaning jokes. I am an expert in forcing people to do work and to pass the blame to anyone around or just simply vent my anger out on them. I guess for the last 18-19 years of my life I've been pretty much a self-centered idiot who only cared what concerns me and the only times I've tried to care about others is when it also concerns me and then I became a Christian and everything changed.

Becoming a Christian changed my whole heart, mind and soul. Even my passion! I used to addicted to anime, criminal books and even to those kind of materials that will make others puke at the very thought of it, I've tried those things and I didn't even flinch at the very sight of it. I've been involved in crazy things that made me realize is enough to get me a one-day pass to stay in the prison which I am thankful that never happened.

Well now, people would probably think I'm boring since I'm a straight-laced (haha) person and who will do everything for the LORD. Yes and No. Yes I will do everything for God but I'm not pretty sure if I'm as good as they assume me to be. I do know the number of foolishness I've done and God knows how bad I can be and how I have daily tantrums and complaints to Him which has now spared billions out there who would've been a victim of my tyrannical wrath.

Being a Christian is a crazy life. I'm serving the LORD by leading others to Him but more than that, I'm also praying for the grace to uphold the values that Jesus taught me. So why is this post about goodbye? Well... when I started my walk as a full-pledged and crazily-in-love with Jesus life, I've been warned, pre-warned and still warned that life wouldn't be as easy.

John 15:18 (NIV)

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first..."

The world hates Jesus. I know a lot of people are very open about their hate for Jesus and I don't care honestly, why? It's their life not mine. I'm not bothering them unless they bother me but more than that, Jesus will fight for Himself. He is GOD.

Emphasis here, so life isn't as easy as before! If I had a choice, I would've chosen an easy job which requires me to just go to the office, sleep then back home. I wouldn't have to go out of my comfort zone just to reach out people I don't know and introduce who Christ is to them... so life isn't easy and funny enough, one of the hardest part of my Christian life is the pruning.

John 15:1-2 (NIV) “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful..."

Pruning according to wikipedia is "entails targeted removal of diseased, damaged, dead, non-productive, structurally unsound, or otherwise unwanted tissue from crop and landscape plants." So generally, it's to remove anything unwanted or anything that hinders the plant from being more productive. The reason I'm sharing this is because I feel like I'm in a pruning season right now.

I feel so TIRED and yet I still put my hope unto the LORD. I find perfect peace in Him alone. :)

credits to pengyangel2008

Unloved. Untrue.

2011-05-29T23:40:00.000-07:00

How long has it been since I felt so secured in God's love?

I have a lot of thoughts today. Thoughts I do not usually entertain. Sad thoughts. Empty thoughts. Unhealthy thoughts. I guess it's because of the weather. Rainy days always make me feel bothered and a bit uneasy, not queasy though. The weather reminds me of a day when I cried and cried and I just let the rain wash away the tears that were falling from my eyes. I felt like there were more water that came from my eyes than from the sky. It was sad.

The rain is here.

As I stare at the rain drops fall, I wonder. Lord, why is it raining inside me again? What is wrong? What is this uneasy feeling that I do not usually feel. I feel so... uneasy. A feeling I usually feel when we're waiting for the payroll to be approved but also different, it's more sad and it leaves a feeling of emptiness deep inside me.

It's pouring hard.

I remember during Noah's time, they have not yet experienced rain. (Genesis 2:5b "God had not yet sent any rain..."). No one has yet seen what rain is like. No one has seen water fall from the sky and quench the dry and thirsty ground.

...but the rain inside does not quench.

How much longer must the rain fall inside me? I'm not sure. I am starting to feel empty.

John 16:32b ...but I am never really alone, because the Father is with me.

Why am I feeling empty anyway? What is the root of all of these? What has cause this uneasy feeling that is like a spider web that catches all the joy away before it can reach my heart? God hasn't left me. I'm still alive. My family will be saved. My friends are a blessing. So what?

I close my eyes and listen to the rain.

Images started passing through my mind. People. Places. Events. EVERYTHING. I never realized that I had so much in mind that I never had let out. I am like a Pandora's box who had a lot of secret inside that would never have came out if nobody opens me.

When I opened my eyes, Jesus was there.

Now that my heart has been opened. What should I do? Every evil thoughts, every evil desires and wrong-doings has been released. I don't want to lock them inside me again. I'm scared. Oh please help me.

...He held my hand.

As I stepped out of the box where all the evil things inside me dwell, I felt ashamed. How could I keep all those things inside me? Unlove. Uncared. UNIMPORTANT. I sobbed. I didn't know what to do. It's just to much. How insignificant am I? I kneel and watch. The evil things I kept inside me is dancing. They were the reason why it has been raining inside me. They've been torturing me. They've been hurting me. They've been lying to me.

It wasn't over.

As I cried. Jesus reminded me of a song:

"You are here you are here with me
Everywhere I go you are loving me
I am yours and you are mine
Forevermore"

-You are Here by Darlene Zschech

For the first time, I decided to pray:

Jesus Christ, my Saviour

How beautiful is your splendor

You reign in Heaven Most high

And the Earth below

I am nothing without You

I see myself of no value

What is my purpose?

You are the reason I live

Whenever I feel lonely and pained

I look back at those days

When I am in awe in worshiping

How much longer must I endure?

I stare at the sky

I remember Your Holy Throne

You see from there

No matter how tiny I am

You have set Your eyes on me

A servant, a sinner

Why do you look at me?

What do you see in me?

Till today, I wonder

Why did You love me?

What is it in me that You saw?

Will Your love ever end?

I have no answer

I hold it in and look at You

Stare and be amazed

That the Mighty King knows me

Now I know why John said

"Jesus much become more important,

while I become less important" (John 3:30)

It's because of You

You are more than

What the mind can comprehend

More than the world

Can ever measure

Greater, Mightier, Holier

That is my God

Who loves this pained sinner

and is now forgiven.

Amen.

My New Toy

2011-05-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

Hahahahaha! Sorry, I had to laugh at myself for the second picture. It was a real laugh and a funny experiment that I just did out of the moment. It's just funny that the phone covered my face and yet the camera's on. Weird. But that's me.

Ever since I lost two (2) cellphones, I've been using two hand-me-down cellphones to get through my days. I've been using my dad's old samsung flip-top phone and my sister's old nokia model in exchange of the cherry mobile phone I received from my cousin, Ate Lorie. I have no real complaint as with regards to my phones except for the tiny fact that I feel a bit hassled because I am holding two (2) phones at the same time. Haha. I just find it bulky but nonetheless, I'm thankful to just have some mobile gadgets that I can use.

After some time, I decided not to load my prepaid sim and just wait for pay day. So for a couple of days, I ignored my Samsung phone and left it unused for days. Well, I still use it to set the alarm clock but aside from that, it has no purpose of use --though it receives the text messages for me!

Anyway, it was an unexpected day when I opened my flip samsung only to be greeted by the fact that its side is broken and when you flip it open, it has a tendency to break apart (the screen from the keypad body). I couldn't afford to flip it open because it might fall apart much more worst than my imagination can comprehend.

During one of our mall rounds, my mom and I checked out some cellphones. I was really reluctant but my mom urged me to go ahead and buy it. It wasn't my first choice but it's worth it. I bought a C3222 Samsung model called Samsung Punch. It's QWERTY pad and it's dual sim! Yes, dual sim! I know that there's a touch screen dual sim at Samsung but not a QWERTY one and it costs lesser than the touch screen which I highly appreciated.

As I stare at my phone and meddle with its settings, I wonder what God had in mind when I bought it. He knows I need it but I felt like I bought it in a rush. It's not an everyday necessity and I won't die without a cellphone but as the days passed by, people texting me, calling me and just plainly bonding with the people I love through text. I thank God. I know that I have nothing to give Him because everything is His so I lift up what is mine to Him - including my new cellphone. I have decided, just now, to name it "SELAH". I have no reason why but it's the first thing that came into my mind.

According to WIKIPEDIA...

...The Amplified Bible states Selah as "pause, and think of that". it is also suggested by some that selah is a praise and cannot be fathomed by definition.

Selah notes a break in the song and as such is similar in purpose to Amen in that it stresses the importance of the preceding passage. Alternatively, Selah may mean "forever", as it does in some places in the liturgy (notably the second to last blessing of the Amidah). Another interpretation claims that Selah comes from the primary Hebrew root word [calah] which means "to hang", and by implication to measure (weigh).[2] Also "Selah" is the name of a city from the time of David and Solomon.[3]

I'm not sure which of the following meanings I'll take but I'll take the Amplified bible version saying that it means "Pause, and think of that". I want my phone [Selah] to make me pause and say 'Wow, who could ever imagine that God blessed me with such a wonderful cellphone'. I think that' awesome enough for me.

So if I have to thank anyone, it'll be number 1: GOD and number 2: My mom for helping me look for a phone but I just really feel so thankful that even if I have no idea why God gave me Selah, I'll use it to give glory to Him forever.

Three Simply Touching Events

2011-03-04T09:56:00.000-08:00

Here are three pictures that I want to use to describe my day that I can't fully express in words right now. These three pictures are the three funny yet greatful blessings I receive on this wonderful day!

'As posted earlier the unexpected free food! I shouldn't have bought some chips but should've waited for God's blessing.

Lesson One: PATIENCE

Youth service wasn't something I look forward to but the preachings never fails to bless me. What makes me indifferent at youth service is my 'close minded' hunger for deeper discussion on the Word of God but nonetheless I'm learning to appreciate the things that God has given us. He did not allow it for my selfish sake but He allowed our youth service to continue because of the humdreds blesse every friday! Come on!

Lesson Two: The true value isn't measured by my worldly standards

After the service, we went for a quick dinner at mcdo and Lian, the one on the left blessed us with her graciousness!!!! Thanks so much :) I am amazed and touched by the gesture and what I love most is the bonding I had with them! Nothing can be compared to a good bonding time!!! :D

Lesson Three: Value the moments

God has given me so much yet I am so undeserving!! He is just amazing and I am humble to love and to be loved by Him.

Loving the Freebies

2011-03-04T01:26:00.001-08:00

I have always loved receiving free stuffs but never expected to receive one in an almost daily basis!

Ever since I transferred from our office to our client, I underwent major adjustment including in terms of the culture! The culture is amazing and it makes me happy and positive to find a decent office like this. Everyday is like an adventure and a lot of stuff can be done - no wonder the resignation rate is very low!

Well, I'm talking about our client company.

This place has been such a blessing and I'll definitely miss it! :)

Fasting with a gift from God

2011-03-03T00:38:00.001-08:00

Today I have take on a fast. I've been gaining so much weight plus I put all my frustration into eating so I decided to put a stop to it by fasting and avoiding eating junk food which I am very addicted to right now.

As I took on the challenge, God gave me the grace to be so busy and not have time to think of food! Hahahaha!

Anyway, I was surprised when kuya Richard came with a plate and I asked what it was and he said "Tiramisu"

Waaaah!!!

Free tiramisu! God is so gracious! He made me stop eating junkfood and rewarded me a cake for my effort! :))

Look at how messy my desk is!!!

New BLOGGIE

2011-03-02T23:04:00.000-08:00

Hi there! I have a new blog that I've been updating for some time already. Feel free to browse through this blog. I'm still planning to update my blog here while simultaneously updating that one too. I'm writing my personal experiences there MORE. As for this blog, I'll maintain this to update on the 'random' stuff that I love doing. [Which is a LOT].

The main purpose of my other blog is to answer this simple question: why am I a princess? :)

So here's the link: http://whyamiaprincess.blogspot.com

...and a quick peek of what it looks like right now:

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

2009-06-05T06:57:00.001-07:00

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Geneology - Ancestors

benetons-o4o5... memories!

2009-05-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

I had no idea that this was still alive.. so anyway. Back in high school, I was one of the few who were moderating our class friendster... yes... back at that time, friendster is still the click website for all. If you don't have one then you're a loser! hahahaha! just joking, PEACE! :D

Anyway, so here's the catch.. there's this 'About Me' box and 'Who I want to meet' box, right? :) Well, I placed all the names of our class there and added a certain 'description' which has a personal touch about what that person is famous for back at the time while for other, it is in reverse! LOL! Hahahaha, it's funny how twisted my mind is back in those days but nonetheless, it is fun checking out our 'old selves'.. which may still be a way of who we are right now.. I wonder what are the changes and such, I just hope it's something that's amazing!

Candid moments.. well, not really. But these are the moments we get to show our own style as a class which I really love and cherish. Hahaha, I feel so old but it has been four years since the time this class was formed and not all of us are in-contact anymore... sad. :(

Wow! Our class pictures!! hahaha, I bought only two copies.. the other one, I didn't.. maybe because, I didn't look as good there! hahahha! That's a funny and lame excuse but anyway, I really think that THAT is the real reason why I didn't bought that one... It's the top left copy. I don't have that, hahaha! Oh well, let's pass it off. I don't want to dig into my past! hahaha

So that's what my class looks like. I can't forget the times that we go to the mall and create a mess there! There was even that moment where Jazz got her hand hit! Hahahaha, it's because she touched the computer at some store without permission so she got scolded.. though I think there was this particular computer that we shut down and we ran away as soon as we turned it off. It's not really a good example to the next generation but as a youngster --though I still am one, I was wild. hahahaha, wilder than I can ever imagine! hahahaha,

Going back to the topic.. the list below are our 'personalized description' and I'll add why.

BOYS:
Kevin King Asur the outstanding runner of the class a.k.a. petra

(haha, we call him 'Petra' and tease him as a horse. He's gay)

Alvin Balaoro the most outstanding handwriter

(I remember that there was one time he kept talking to me about his handwriting.. LOL)
Mark Christopher Barbin the most outstanding businessman

(This, everybody in class agreed! He actually collected money that is worth almost 50-75% more that the actual price of the item he was assigned to buy and his answer is simply "Businessman kasi ako")
Mark Rossell Cabana the most outstanding rocker of the year [addicted kay addict]

(Hahahaha, he's a rock artist. Singer of their band. He's also called "Addict" because of his ex-gf)

Ralph Cadivida the most outstanding dancer

(This may have been because he always dance! LOL)

Russell John Cotorno the most outstanding mathematician a.k.a. euclid [may crush kay LG]

(Honestly, he's a guy who does not study but is way way better in math than any of the boys! hahaha!)

Norzel del Mundo the most outstanding poet [mukha daw kasing pwet!]

(I never got to know this guy better... he's always absent in class!!!)

Paul Aron Elfa the most outstanding earth saver [salamat sa mr. & ms. sci camp]

(Thanks to Star Gazing Camp, he won the Mr. & Ms. Camp... funny thing is, we weren't even rooting for him!!)

Jerald Flores the most outstanding draftsman

(He's one of the boys who was competing to be the best draftsman, so we already gave him the award!)

Kris Richard Geronimo the most outstanding chorale member [superKAPAMILYA]

('Toto' as we call him is part of the chorale and is always ready to defend ABS-CBN from the majority of the KAPUSO fans in the class)

Ivan Justine Gonzales the most outstanding pop star

(Make Ivan sing and you'll go wild! hahaha, he's a super energetic singer! You'll love him!)

Ryan Guillermo the most outstanding chef [mommy nia kasi sa canteen nagtatrabaho]

(As stated, his mom works at the canteen! LOL)

Stevenson Kong the most outstanding cartoonist a.k.a the professional latecomer [sbi ni lasbe]

(If you're wondering who 'Lasbe' is, she's our english teacher who does nothing but bring us down! LOL, anyway, she honored Stevenson as a great cartoonist)

Jophelito Mendoza the most outstanding drummer [creator of super T]

(I am now wondering why a drummer when he's a bassist... hmm? Anyway, he created super T, a cartoon version of the male genitalia.. which he promoted in class.. haha)

Bril Jade Padilla the most outstanding cheerleader

(Cheerleader... because most of the time he cheers!! hahaha! People love bullying him!)

John Rafael Santos the most outstanding researcher a.k.a. octopus

(He looks like an octopus!!!!)

Gerald Paolo Salvador the most outstanding recording artist [mahilig kasi mag voice record]

(I think he recorded his voice once that's why we made fun of him!! hahahaha)

Reydel Bryan Solis the most outstanding guitarist

(He's part of the school Rondalia.. he is really good with the guitars)

John Paul Quitalig the most outstanding guy in class [gwapo daw kasi]

(He is the class crush! hahaha, He's not exactly handsome but because of his shy and timid attitude people just adore him! Even I enjoy his company! hahaha If ever you ask him to perform... he will really perform!!)

Paul Dominique Tejada the most outstanding in english [favorite ni lasbe]

(Lasbe again, sheesh. All she does is give people names. Anyway, Pauldo is really good in English)

Ephraim Velasquez the most outstanding speech choir member a.k.a. pepe

(Hehehe.. Pepe as in Jose Rizal's nickname! Because in our speech choir, he pretended to be Jose Rizal when he was just a boy and he did well!)

Vivencio Villaruz the most outstanding in various subjects [super talino]

(Well, though Vince would deny it.. he really study harder than any of us!! hahaha)

GIRLS:
Angelica Abulencia the most excellent in math

(Angelica is a really hardworker and she studies really hard in math. I hate 3rd year math... T_T I hate Geometry)

Janice Apilado the most excellent MJP a.k.a. budang

(MJP or Manila Junior Police. She knows the military commands but this comes with a long story! hahaha)

Jefelyn Almojuela the most excellent in Filipino

(Jefelyn is a career student in Filipino. Hahaha, I remember how she would recite excitedly!)

Swilene Andrade the most excellent in research a.k.a jessie [ng fullhouse]

(I can't remember why Jessie of fullhouse... I believe there's a story behind this that I forgot..:O)

Donna Bartolome the most excellent in archery

(She joined the archery team, :) )

Winkel Dee Bernardino the most excellent dancer

(Winkel is really good when it comes to dancing. She's a quiet person but I assure you, she's good!)

Ellen Bulalacao the most excellent poet

(I don't remember why... but I think she does her poetry well..:P)

Carmelita Calwit the most excellent in science [consistent top 1 sa chem]

(Yup, her original competitor is Jazz.. but Jazz is a carefree person.. hahaha so Carme gets to be #1!)

Diana Deborah Causo the most excellent cartoonist

(She's good when it comes to art!)

Ma. Melissa Lalu the most excellent in style

(Issa is a fun loving, timid girl who has a really good sense of style, :D)

Princess Llanillo the most excellent in comments [crush ng bayan]

(Listen to her comments and you'll definitely laugh your heart out!!)

Merriam Grace Locara the most excellent in hair style [salamat sa chopsticks, ballpen at lapis]

(Well, who wouldn't laugh at me for using chopsticks, ballpen and pencil as hair braid.. hahaha. and you can hardly see my hair up)

Rochelle Ann Lopez the most excellent in T.H.E. a.k.a. lakambini ng bene

(She's a very girly girl but is really energetic and fun! hahaha,)

Keirstine Mae Madlos the most excellent in programming a.k.a. panot [peace!luv u kim!]

(Kim is a really great programmer... If you check out her websites, you will be amazed! :D She's called 'Panot' because of her large forehead..)

Ma. Krissan Manikan the most excellent singer a.k.a. keka

(She's also a choir member)

Vina May Marvas the most excellent in English [crush din ng bayan]

(A lot of men has a heart for her! hahahaha! GO Vina!)

Dona Mary Nava the most excellent in rap

(You can make Dona Mary rap and enjoy her own beat!)

Cherry Lou Nequia the most excellent in all subjects a.k.a. umawit?!

('Umawit' is her line during our speech choir which comes with a really funny tone!)

Ma. Edualyn Pedroso the most excellent in declamation

(I believe this is because she argues a lot! hahaha)

Rogelyn Rabi the most excellent in A.P.

(A.P. or Araling Panlipunan.. which is generally World History. She's really good at this subject,)

Jazelyn Rosende the most excellent rocker a.k.a. addict

(She is Rascal's ex-gf. Anyway, she's a rock fan!!)

Annie Lou Santos the most excellent in math

(When it comes to math.. no body beats annie!! She's the best in math in class!!!)

April Fivee Janine Santos the most excellent in various subjects a.k.a lola

(April is generally a hardworker and you can tell by how her tests turns out!)

Charmie Sulit the most excellent charmer [muse ng bene]

(She has this really cute smile that makes you think that she has something in mind and at the same time assume that she 'might' be innocent! hahaha)

Danica Mae Floricia Trinidad the most excellent archer

(She's part of the Archery team)

Shyra Valencia the most excellent artist

(She's the one who made the banner we were carrying at the picture above! hahaha!)

So that's my class back in high school, great memories. great times. I just can't have enough! hahaha, but we're all grown up now and after some though, a lot of us did changed while some changed only a tiny bit but nonetheless, we had fun and we can't help but always remember that our high school ROCKS!

Brutality to the EXTREME!

2009-05-05T06:27:00.000-07:00

For the past few days, I've been randomnly checking out different websites for the past few days including: multiply.com, friendster.com, some game websites, and some other random websites which I can't remember at the moment... hahaha! Anyway, so at one time, my brother told me to open this website named: My Brute. Not really the kind of website title that I would LOVE but I tried it anyway. So after creating a character, you will be provided with random stats which forms the abilities of the said character.

Anyway, at first I didn't care about it much. I just played and played.. actually, watched and watched. For the first few days, I was a bit down with it because my characters wouldn't develop to become stronger ones... huhuhu. It's hard to fight when your characters are a bit weak. So I tried my best and did the best that I can to develop them to become BETTER characters but survival is difficult when they are weak so I created new characters that can possibly posses the ability that I'm looking for.

So this is my character Haley3. She's the first random character that I've created who posses an amazing speed. At first she has a very low stat but what prompted me to continue using her is because of the trident, it took my interest. So with her trident, I continued to use her and she surprisingly turned out to be a strong character after her second level up. On the second level, I obtained a wolf-looking panther (it was what was mentioned in the level up corner) and another note to notice is that, this character haven't lost yet --at all! So for the past few days that I've been using it, it is of a no lost record! hahaha! Oh yeah, I'm so proud of it! :D

If ever there's anything that I can consider as my saving grace, it will be my pet panther. It's really agressive and attacks most of my enemies numerous times in a row. So withou it, I may not be able to withstand the powerful attacks of the enemy! So I need to credit my panther for its great hardwork that's why I'm winning! But anyway, I'm really excite to reach new levels with this character so I will be able to explore other stuffs about it! Yehey! Hurrah! This is why I am patiently using my character regardless of the other stuffs that I can do!! Hahahahah!

My Character Link: http://haley3.mybrute.com/

This is my other character. Samantha1 is a strength type character. It was surprising because I only used her because I was soooo curious what the fan does. So I used her. It turned out that she has an amazing strength and is also open to a lot of possibilities. Unlike Haley3, she has some losses but it's alright because her fighting style is fun to watch --thanks to the fan. I believe that if I continue developing her strength, she will eventually become a really powerful character so go go go! I can do this! hahaha!

So anyway, when she reached level 3 a dog came out. Not really came out but she received a dog. It is weaker than the panther but it is still a great help slash support for my character. But anyway, even if it is not as strong as my other character, I had them face off and she still loss --it's okay though because I know that this character will become something great and I'm really excited for that! hahahaha! I am so addicted to this game now, huh? I wonder why, but i'm not really sure! hahaha! Go, go, go!! Anyway, I find the dog cuter than the panther but the panther is stronger so I like them both. The last pet that I'm looking for now is the bear! :D

My Character Link: http://samantha1.mybrute.com/

So that's my two awaiting for development characters but I have others that were created earlier than these two which includes the following: kai08, katleya, katleya08 and kai0809.

Here are some of the screen shots I took regarding the fights which is predestined... in a way. Who knows how, but you have no control when it happens except you just have to watch. Hahahaha,! :D I used my character katleya for this particular scene. She has a dog and used a knife plus a flail. She has 80 health points, 3 Strength, 2 Agility and 3 Speed. Her opponent at that time is thor. He has no pet but has a health point of 80. Strenght is 4, Agility is 7 and Speed is 4. He has a knife and a curved sword plus the following specialties: Feline Agility and Fierce Brute. So generally speaking, now that I've checked the stats, he has an upperhand on me but I do have an upperhand --only a tiny bit-- because I have a pet.

It was surprising that I actually won, it's all thanks to the flail which cost a shocking 39 points damage to the other character. So I won, it just made me happier --given the fact that I don't see this character really strong at all. So she is strong and she can prove it.

Great things are expected from great people --but those who truly humble themselves and shows no greatness are those who are truly great. God proved that more than I can ever imagine and He even showed it to me even in a simply game as such.

REMEMBER: In everything that we do, God is always there. He watches over us and makes sure that we do the right things. He guides us through life --He guides us through everything that we do. Believe in Him because He knows best. Listen to His words because it is the truth. In simple or great things, God is always there --that, we must all remember.

Practicum Days!

2009-05-05T02:21:00.000-07:00

If I could count all the summers that I've had in my life, I wish that this is one summer [job] that I can extend. It's not because it's fun all the time, neither is it because there's something new all the time. But the mere fact that I found a new family in the midst of the busy office work is what broke my heart when we had to say goodbye.

(On the left) The people from the HR department, not including Ms. Gherille and Ms. Bhelle. Me, Ms. Reyla, Ruby, Ms. Medy and Ms. Racquel. (On the right) Ms. Christine, Mr. Argie, Me, Ms. Char, Mr. Toni.

We, me and Ruby, started out as practicumers in the Human Resource Department commonly called the HR o HRD. It consist of the following aspects of our future job: Recruitment, Employee Relations and Payroll/Incentives. Before, I had a limited aspect of what an HR should be --and mean enough to say this, I find it boring because it consist mostly of paper works and more paper works. Sheesh.. T_T But anyway, so that was the idea and honestly, I felt a bit bad when out of nowhere, my cellphone rang and Drake International contacted me!!! Waaah! I really wanted to be part of that company because that's where Judz, Lui and I applied together but sadly, I already accepted the position here in The Body Shop so I declined.

The first thing that they did to us was to tour us around the whole floor, introducing us to different people, to different departments which I later memorized: Visual Management, Operations, Product, Marketing, Training and HR.

Afterwards, we spent two weeks learning the ways of an HR and also... I learned that it's not really boring! We had a great working atmosphere plus we realized that everything we do comes with a reason --one of our major projects is creating bulletin board which I admit didn't turn out really well but, nonetheless, I am very proud that we were able to produce something as such. It was fun and simple.

This picture is taken at SM Megamall Cinemas. It was "Earth Day" and the whole Body Shop prepared a documentary broadcast. It was in a way a unique day because everybody's family and friends came along but still, we didn't let go of the chance of not bonding together in the Photo Wall where the FAMOUS people project and get their pictures taken! This was at the time that I am part of the Training Dept. but I spent my time with the HR people. The picture below includes one of our company owners --Doc Mike as we call him.

I saw that being an HR requires a lot patience and discipline --not that others doesn't have that-- but the mere fact that as an HR, we get to receive all the complaints of the managers or employees, etc. It's a really hard life but it's fun as long as you did your part well!

When Jabum and Waki arrived, we moved out to the recruitment section for the first time! We usually just file the requirements submitted and we didn't get the chance to actually interview people and so-- the experience was something new and great! I get to hang-out in room 301 and take resumes and stuff. Though it was our last day on HR, I made the most out of it.

(on the left) This is working hand-in-hand with Girbaud. I am there, in the corner, laughing while the guy nearest to me is Sir Tony of Girbaud, the only training officer. This is for employee orientation of how they should present themselves inside the shop. (On the right) This is during an in-store training where the supervisors are further trained to recognized and be aware of the JCB products.

I was HONESTLY afraid when we moved to the Training department which is the last aspect of our course when it comes to office work. On the very day that we've transferred to the said department, we became part of a Launch Pack of the Japanese Cherry Blossoms or what we call "JCB" in short. The Launch Pack is a meeting among Sales Supervisor and the Area Managers. As trainers, our role is to help them familiarize with the product and be able to help them create innovative ideas so they can persuade the customers to buy the said product. We were really excited to witness the said event --every department gets to give their own share in the said Launch Pack, one of which I remembered correctly is the Visual Management or the VM.

After the Launch Pack, we were assisting in different ways. At times, we were used as models --make-up models. Because there is a desperate need to use faces for whatever look that they need. I was used as the May Sale Look for the employees and later on, the Summer Trend Look for the employees and also the Summer Trend Poster Girl Look. We had a joke that my face was so exposed, it got as far as Cebu and yet, I've never ACTUALLY been there. Hahahaha.

There are also times that we get to do the inventory --I was slowly memorizing all the products of The Body Shop especially the make-up and most of the skin care products. I do remember some of the fragrances, body care, hair care, etc. but not all of them. It was fun when they need this particular product, they will ask you for help because you know where they are placed! Happy, hehehe. There will even be times wherein, I will have to assist them in different ways which I find very memorable.

These were the shots taken during the May Sale Look. I was the model in front of ALL the Sales Supervisor in The Body Shop --because during this Launch Pack, the provincial people were present... huhuhu. So Ms. Christine took the liberty of demonstrating the May Sale Look with me as the model. Okay, bad thing here is that I'm really having a hard time when the eye liner is placed on my bottom eyelids.. is that right? Anyway, it took some time and a lot of concentration! hahahah! XD

The Training Department didn't start out as a family as back in the HR because most of the time, they weren't around. They were out doing in-store training which we later witnessed. But as the days went on, I've realized that they are a big happy family and they are really caring. It opened my eyes to the fact that they respect us in a way and I respected them greatly for that.

Beign part of the Training Department requires movement. It requires you to walk from here to there and then back and then go here then there and suddenly in all possible directions. It's always busy --especially when we get to witness another launch pack which is the May Sale or Anniversary Sale. We get to be exposed to different departments and assist in different projects. There are solitary moments but most of the time we were busy.

(On the top left) That is me, posing. (Top Center) Donnalyn a.k.a. Waki (On the top right) Patrisha a.k.a. Jabum. (On the bottom left) is the three of us making our own personal poses! (On the bottom right) Another pose for the crowd. hahaha!

So after a quick paced days in The Body Shop --one of which we acted like stars in a premiere night -- I don't think that I'll regret the fact that I've chosen this company. I know I could have waited for the Drake to call me but I guess God told me one fact that i forgot: Keep your promises. Because way back at the start of classes, I forgot that I promised Ruby that I'll be her partner during OJT and God made me kept that promise --and He also blessed me for keeping that promise. Thank God... for everything. :)

On-Job-Training reminds Earth Hour

2009-03-24T06:23:00.000-07:00

At March 28, 2009 at exactly 8:30 to 9:30 in the evening, different countries in the world gave their "thumbs up" in supporting the Earth Hour.

Just this Monday, I started my on-job-training (ojt) at The Body Shop, Philippines. So generally, the Body Shop is where I buy my lotions - I love their lotions!!! You just got to try them but *ehem* so this Monday, Ruby and I had our official first day of work. I felt anxious at the same time uneasy with the fact that I may or may not do exactly as well as I hope I do so I kept murmuring silent prayers that somehow - SOMEHOW!!! I do something right and that I don't do anything to pull Ruby down!! T_T

So we had an orientation session with Ma'am Bhelle, the HR for the Recruitment section. She toured us around the whole floor, introducing us to different people whose names I no longer remember... there's a mighty lot of them! I have to assure you on that fact and two unprepared brains like mine and Ruby's couldn't exactly comprehend all those names plus we felt a bit awkward whether or not we should say "Hi" or a respectful "Good Morning" but nonetheless, we kept our smiles coming and maintained the composure that employees ought to have - in our case, practiciumers!

Btw, we have our own i.d.!!! Oh yeah, so we can come in and out of the building without care of others but I think we are supposed to surrender them by the end of our practicum so I'm going to take a million pictures of it as souvenir and also as proof of my internship at The Body Shop! Honestly, even if it's just my second day I can't help but feel all psyched up by everything!!! \m/ rock on people!! hahahaha!

Anyway, I was surprised that they actually have an every Monday prayer wherein they gather themselves in one big room and pray there - regardless of beliefs and religion, it is a matter that we all pray together for the company. Aww.. sweet, :) So they prayed and what's really cool is the fact that after the prayer, you get the chance to announce any good news or any additional informations that you want to share with everybody, that's why I found out about the Earth Hour, because of them.

One of The Body Shop's vision is for pro-environment movements... which I totally love! I am an environmentalist!!!! Oh yeah, I so love this OJT! :D So I'm still reading about the Earth Hour and I want to share to you what EARTH HOUR has that we must learn from and understand:

This is now the video that is taken from http://earthhour.org you better check it out for other infos and stuff! I'm going to update after some time again so I'll just share whatever I can to you guys! Always believe and pray. Don't go astray from God's path and value everything around you! Rock on to God and Rock on to the people of the world!

2009-01-08T00:43:00.000-08:00

----- Read This -----

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you understood that, put it in your profile.

I got this from a profile of a friend in Crunchyroll, it's an anime community that hosts different anime shows which you can watch for free as long as you register and there are paid accounts which goes for the usual premium accounts and stuff, mine's the free though... I don't have money to have a paid account. Anyway, the reason why I am talking about that and posted the one above is because I found it interesting. I read this long ago in Fanfiction.net and after that, I forgot where I read it and wasn't able to obtain a copy of this one. I find it rather interesting to have someone ACTUALLY read this because it's a bit weird... recalling how I first read it, I didn't even realized that the words were jumbled until I reached the part which stated that it was jumbled and that made me a bit conscious which makes the reading a bit more difficult but overall, reading it with an absent mind helps, hahahaha! Isn't that fun?

Anyway, I also saw in a friend's homepage about My Personality that is posted. As a behavioral science major, I felt interested but at the same time bored because I had too much of those personality tests last semester but it wouldn't hurt to try another one because I usually see online personality tests as unreliable but when I went to this site, their test seems to be more informative because it clears the fact that it actually uses Carl Jung's personality types. In a way, I understand how simple the test is because I took it up before but because it's already more than 6 months, the test results are valid: I am an INTP. I stands for introverts, N for Intuition, T for Thinking and P for Perceiving. Don't take the words as for what they mean in the dictionary because in psychology they come with a different meaning.

INTP - The "Engineer"
INTPs are logical, individualistic, reserved, and very curious individuals. They focus on ideas, theories and the explanation of how things work. They are especially adept at discussions and debate. They have the ability to focus intently on a subject. They appreciate and respect intelligence in others.

taken from mypersonality.info

That is a quick way to describe me according to my test result, according to statistics, only 1% from the female population will posses this kind of personality. So this means I'm a bit special, hahahaha. Anyway, I usually thing a lot and I treat myself as an individual and yes I am reserved but at the same time, I savour the idea of learning something about other... not the gossip type but rather trying to find out who they are and why they do this and that. The part about discussion and debate is true because I love speaking my mind out as long as I know I have a point and though I am not sure if I have an ability to focus... I'm a lazy ass. Hahahahaha, but yes, I really respect others who are intelligent, just like my dad! :D

I'm going to share some FAMOUS INTP pipz who are the same as me!

Abraham Lincoln - American President

Albert Einstein - German physicist

Ashley Olsen - actress (Full House)

Blaise Pascal - French mathematician

Bob Newhart - comedian, actor

Brent Spiner - actor ("Data" on Star Trek)

Carl Jung - Swiss psychiatrist

Charles Darwin - English naturalist

Gerald Ford - American President

James Madison - American President

Jeff Bingaman - U.S. Senator

John Quincy Adams - American President

John Tyler - American President

Mary-Kate Olsen - actress (Full House)

Meryl Streep - actress

Midori Ito - Japanese figure skater

Rene Descartes - French philosopher

Rick Moranis - actor (Honey, I Shrunk the Kids)

Socrates - Greek philosopher

William Harvey - medical doctor

William James - American psychologist

taken from mypersonality.info

Hahaha! I bet you want to be an INTP now but you know... I used to be an ENTP... I wonder why I turned Introvert now? :O Introverts are reserved individuals. They prefer to be alone by themselves why Extroverts are those who enjoy mingling with society.

Isn't this nice? :D I get to customize my profile!! Awwww! My intelligence tells me I'm a logical and verbal person.. wee!! Isn't that great? I'm a naturalist and I value interpersonal relationship over intrapersonal relationship. I have an above average body or corrdination and I am weak in the arts... *sigh* Sad... and to think I have a great love for art!! :O Huhuhuh, oh well, I can't really force art into me! hahahaha!

So this is it! Try it for yourself! :D

CLOUD STRIFE: Can you believe this?

2009-01-07T05:03:00.000-08:00

I bet a lot of people are aware who this guy is... of course, who wouldn't? Because this guy is part of the game that inspired the next generation of games and has revolutionized the beauty of 3-D games, Final Fantasy by Square Enix.

A brief overview on Final Fantasy is the fact that it actually started with FFI which is a simple gameboy game, black and white 2-D graphics wherein there are consistent character types within the story. This is an RPG or Role-Playing Game. From FFI, came FFII until it reached FFVI. After the sixth installment, the seventh is the one that they first introduced to be played using the Play Station and the is Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. The guy in the picture is the person you will be controlling once the game starts, he is Cloud. Cloud is generally a cold-distant guy and he has the attitude towards people.

The reason I became familiar with FF is because a lot of people are playing it and a lot of them are getting hooked to it and when I played FFVIII, the story about Squal Leonhart and Rinoa Heartily, I realized the beauty of the game and the joy I felt with the cool features of the game that even I couldn't help but feel that I am part of the game. Before I played it, because I am a gameboy advance addict, I actually tried the Final Fantasy Advance Tactics which follows the format of the first six installments though it has better graphics.

Anyway, the reason I am posting about this guy is because of these pictures:

So this is Cloud, the same guy you saw above but what caught my attention is the fact that this is an actual human being who just wore a costume to impersonate Cloud and somehow, he was able to capture Cloud's look, I know not totally but from all that I've seen this is one of the best and a truly recommended at that to see!

So this is still Cloud but if ever you click on the picture and zoom it and notice the shape of his face, this guy is actually not Cloud and just another fan who cosplayed him and I have to say... WOAH! This is totally awesome to be a cosplay though there is a proof that it has been edited, in a way, because of the data-like movement along his head to his back. I guess what attracted me to this picture is the calmness I always wanted to see in Cloud because all his life he never had a chance to loosen up because he felt miserable because of all the people who died... *sight* I bet if anyone who read this and is aware of Cloud's story will understand, :) But anyway, try searching his story.. you'll love it plus this RPG is phenomenal so if you have no idea what it is... you are definitely so behind!!

So if ever you find it interesting and started searching for this game and by chance has a copy.. send it to me... waaah! Because I still haven't played FFVII but I was able to play FFVIII! Isn't that absurd? But anyway, every FF aren't connected anyway but still... I want to play this and share the passion fans have!!! Oh yeah! \m/ rock on Cloud Strife!

Plurking it!

2009-01-06T19:13:00.000-08:00

It's honestly been some time already before I was able to realize that I'm into a new fandom. I wasn't even able to update my blog because I was so busy reading manga and writing random stuffs and doing "this" that I realized... what is this?

It's simply "Plurk".

I recently discovered this site where Ikang invited me and I got hooked here because it updates regularly to the posts of your fellow Plurk-mates and it is similar to an online chat box except that it's through the browser and you can customize your site. It's easy to share pics, links and even videos here.

The whole system of Plurk is to gain more friends and at the same time, earn "Karma points". Karma is the point system here. For every post and every reply made, the karma increases gradually and the more friends you invite, the more point you will have in your karma. The benefits of the karma system is the emoticons or commonly known as the smileys. The smileys vary depending on the karma points that you have, the higher the karma the cute the emoticons and one of my over-used emoticon is the dancing banana, hahaha, poor banana.

Anyway, Plurk revolutionizes the idea of simple chatting into a blog-like chat room where you can post "Status" or "Share" links that you would usually post in your blog, it's fun to explore and learn. The more friends you have in Plurk, the better because it makes the whole thing more interesting in its own way and the fact that Plurk allows you to have friends from all over the world is another bonus. :)

Tagged by Cham!

2008-12-20T05:32:00.000-08:00

So I've been tagged by Cham! Sorry for the late update... I've been busy with PLURK! hahaha! Thanks Ikang for inviting me there! hahahaha! :D The challenge this time is to post the turn on and off that I have towards the opposite sex... I'm a girl so I'll be talking about a guy! Yay!

The OFF...

Attitude - what I hate most is when the guy is so full of himself. Honestly, dude! Don't you know what HUMILITY means? Flattery will get you nowhere!
Pushy - I hate it when they try to boss me around
Flirt - Just tell me honest facts and stop with the lacy words! GAY! hahahaha! :D
Insincere - Need to explain?
Disrespectful - honestly.. can't you get any worst?
Discriminating - die dude! DIE!
Selfish - so much for a human being! Grr...!
Dishonest - Hmp.
Can't think but I bet there's more!

The ON...

Kind - the dream boy! hahahaha! :D
Sincere - this is based on experience! hahahahha! XD
Funny - the easiest way to a girl's heart is by making her laugh!
Active - it's good to have someone who's always full of energy!
Understanding - i need a lot of that! :p
Honest - something we ALL need
Persevering - Go go go till the end!
Family-oriented - so am I! :P
I bet there are lots more but those are what I have in mind right now! :P

I can't think of any individuals to tag.. I'll update this later for further reference but anyway! Thanks to everyone who were worried for me and helped me make it through the heavy storm! Oh yeah! XD

3 Days of Pain!

2008-12-14T16:55:00.000-08:00

GUYS! I MISS YOU SO MUCH!

did you miss me? :D heheheh, well I did and very much and I have to say that you guys are the reason why I blog right now and no one else. Anyway, I'm really tired after that darn 3-day camp and I never felt so tired and depressed and... grr, can't find the perfect words but I assure you, it's almost like you're alive but you're not.

I'll be thanking God a lot for taking care of me throughout the sensitivity training because without Him, I would have probably died right now from the pain I've experienced. I am really sad and lonely and I don't really know what to do during the camp... I have to say that there were people who took care of me even if I'm not their responsibility and they showed great care and love for me... and I want to thank them for always... ALWAYS sharing with me their joy, pain and even their most embarrassing moment! hahahaha!

Well... it's because there were people back there who was supposed to be the ones I love more than anyone in the crowd who survived the whole training session without even saying 'hi' or 'hello' to me when we see each other. Honestly, that slapped me in the face... and it made me realize how unimportant I was to them... I must never question their love for me but during the sensi training, I couldn't but feel that way. We met, numerous times, but they always... ALWAYS seem to ignore me or not see me at all and not even a single entity from them asked 'Where were you?' for all the times I wasn't with them. I guess it really came down to the truth how worthless I am... worthless... worthless and worthless.

Honestly, a rationalization came into my mind last night, whenever I express my real feelings to them... it only brought about trouble and whenever we are all in a-okay state this occurs. It's hard to hold on into a relationship that hurts you more than anything else... call me a coward but I've decided to move on and stay distant from them because even when I approached them it only establishes a temporary closeness and... that closeness makes me happy and it makes me feel whole again like the former pain, like this, is something I can forget but this can't keep going on because one day it will kill me, it will succumb me and one day... it will destroy my totality as a person!

Shheeeeesh, drama till today? At the very least, I'm not as emotionally unstable as yesterday! hhahaha! It was funny how emotionally indifferent I was with everybody and how sad I would easily get whenever someone raises their voice to me or when someone nags me I'll be all 'SHut uP!' hahaha, :D SORRY to all the people who got dragged in on this mess... May God guide us all and help us in everything we do.

...and for that

MAY GOD BE PRAISED!

Gone for three days!

2008-12-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

Here is a very sad news:

For THREE (3) whole days I'll be gone! This is so devastating.. huhuhu, starting from tonight (which is actually 2 in the morning) up to Sunday here in Philippines and Saturday on the other side of the planet.

This isn't really something I PLANNED to happen but because my course required me to attend this 3-day training, I am given no other option but to go. I know three days is fast... but I love blogging so much I'll miss you guys! Take care and God bless, :) I pray for your welfare!

I've been TAGGED!

2008-12-10T08:21:00.000-08:00

Okay... I am finally posting something. I couldn't find enough time to post something but anyway,
thanks Bianca for tagging me! hehehe,

RULE: list all the names that you were called by and the people who call you that. tag at least 10 people of your links and give a comment on their site for them to know they've been tagged.

1. Katleya - well actually, I created this nickname... I think I got it from a notebook named Cattleya and because I watced an anime with a name that is pronounced the same way and I found it cute... I just had to use it! :D

2. Megumi - this started back in high school. This is related with my other nickname which I'm going to add as next in my list! :D hehehe,

3. Meg - this is my most PROMINENT, FAMOUS and COMMONLY USED nickname, not that I'm complaining, but anyway... ever since I started using this everybody had the tendency to actually assume that this is my ACTUAL name! hahaha!

4. Mirr... - Blame my sister for that! Whenever she feels that pronouncing my real name is tiresome she'll shorten it in that manner! hahaha! :D

5. Grace - My infamous nickname. This is actually where my 'G' for meg came from. There are only a certain number of people who call me that and they use that to actually MOCK me... grr!!

6. Meglat - I'm going to give Roujo the credit in this one. He called me that out of nowhere and I don't know why! :O

7. Ran - Well.. I know this is out of nowhere but this was taken from the anime character from Super Gals! They told me that she was like me in anime version.. well, I don't exactly wear the same clothes as she does but it's more on the personality because we are both so loud and both a troublemaker. :D

8. Ram - actually, our trainer for our speech choir misread my nickname 'Ran' into 'Ram' which is my nephew's name! hahaha!

9. Defensor - My real name is Merriam so ever since I was a kid they kept calling me that which is the name for a senator here in the Philippines.

10. Bookstore - blame Merriam Bookstore for that!

11. Meggy - I don't know why they call me that but they actually do! It's kind of like a dog-name for me since I love to call my dog in a similar manner... =P hehehe,

12. Locara - Another credit for Roujo.. he used to call me that! :O

13. Bez - heheheheh! :D I credit Rogelyn and Ica for this one but the reason are two different things and it's two long... I'll share it with you next time! Just remind me! :D

14. Merriam - this is actually NOT-A-NICKNAME but since Janice kept calling me that... again and again and again and so does my mom and dad... well, who wouldn't think of it as a nickname? right? :D

15. Marge - this is a nickname that only 2 people in the world call me or has the right to use... :P It's something personal.. hehehe, :D

I guess that wraps it up!! :D That's ALL my nicknames ever since I was borned here on earth and... well! Hahahaha, have a good laugh with them! :D Thanks Biancafor tagging me! :D

And now, I tag: Jazz, ikang, cham, tanchi, iris and janel! :D Enjoy guys, :)

RED BOX: The box that we love

2008-12-02T05:15:00.001-08:00

Second year, this is the best school year I’ve had ever since I’ve entered high school. It’s when all the jokes have been shared, all the laughers have been laughed and all the memories have been shared – not that I’m saying that there’s no longer any memories being shared. Well, let’s just say that for a very unusual group setting… we created great memories together and advocated great change in each other’s lives.

One of our most sought-after places after every exam will be most likely: RED BOX at Trinoma. Well, the reason that we went to RED BOX was because Mauro (call him Mau) told us of how great the place was plus we wanted to sing our heart out without having anybody hearing us from the other room – that happened when we went for a karaoke at World’s of Fun.. sheesh!

So here are the first batch of individuals who have been the 'catalyst' of change! Starting with me in the left most corner, Lui, Albert, Jigo, Mau and Sarah... of course Sarah's the girl and Mau's the guy so if ever they did moved well... you can identify them easy! :D

The first batch of RED BOX advocates will comprise of yours truly, Luisa (she’s my mom in our family tree and call her Lui), Mauro (since he came up with the place, he’s Sarah’s girlfriend), Sarah (she’s our family dog, if you’re wondering why, I’ll explain some other time! :D), Albert (he’s Lui’s brother and my so-called father since I have no dad… but he’s not Lui’s husband *giggles* ‘…that’s incest’ according to Lui) and there’s Jigo (our family gardener/dancer, I’m the one who gave him those positions without his consent). The great thing about this batch is that we’re on an experimental mode and another fact is… people here goes in pair. I won’t deny that I had a thing for Jigo back at this time so I was happy that he is with us – he’s from a different section from ours and there’s Albert, also from a different section but not Jigo’s classmate, who has a thing for Lui and there’s Mau who is Sarah’s boyfriend. Hahahaha. Talk about couples on a date, but anyway this was indirectly planned. (Yeah, right!! Hahaha)

Anyway, so that’s us. The first crew to explore the depths of RED BOX. The first and foremost problem we have encountered was how to operate the machine. Bwahahaha. Funny right? But Jigo found a way so after that we kept on plugging in all the songs that we know regardless of which and what as long as it sounds familiar, it pass!!!

So here are more pics... I wonder when we took this! I can't really recall to be honest! hahaha!

We had our share of personal songs but most of them were group and mostly rock, by the way, and we sang regardless of the fact of whether or not we were in tune. As long as the lyrics goes on and on so does our voices. Actually, I have my own share of videos of what we do inside the karaoke room. Hehehe, we’re actually kind of wild and the only place I’ll be posting it will be here, in my blog, so only a selected few will be viewing it. A side note: Most of the videos doesn’t include me since I’m the one taking them!! HAHA!

So anyway, we sung random songs and even went wild in some parts… well, mostly Sarah went wild. Not me, I am such a behaved individual. (Who am I fooling?)

That’s the first batch of the RED BOX people. The 6 of us are the advocates of change!

...not only are these pictures from the same angle, most likely self-timer, but they are almost of the same place... oh wait, I moved here so it's not really the same! hahaha!

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This is the second batch of RED BOX people: yours truly as always, Sarah, Lui, Mau, Albert are the survivors from the first batch with Jigo eliminated and the new crew members are: Janel and Jay. Janel is my older sister in the family, which is Lui’s family, and Jay is my older brother but I think he’s supposed to be younger than Janel… that! I am not sure.

Welcome Janel and Jay! i've notice a difference between the two pictures... one seems like we were on normal colors while the one on the right shows us - looking all yellowish! hahaha!

We’re not exactly in pairs now but anyway, honestly, this is the wildest batch that I’ve been with. I’m not sure why but I do remember that when the boys left the room for a CR break and my song – which is Thanks for the MMRS by Fall-Out Boy played – and I took the microphone… well, we, girls, went wild and jumped all over the room. I guess the song is familiar to all of us, plus it’s rock, plus it makes you want to jump, plus… we just had to do it all. Hahahaha!

So that's me and Jay going solo... hehehe! The pic on the right doesn't include Janel since she left earlier... awww.. sad, but she already maximized the fun when she was still around! Oh yeah!!!

Anyway, aside from that, I remember the boys trying to sing some rap… like the song Wasn’t me but I’m not so sure right now… hmmm, that made me think. But anyway! The fun part about this batch is that we’re more familiar with how to put our songs in the playlist, the room was larger and the crowd is more rocking crazy! Hahahaha, it was so crazy that I couldn’t help but laugh at the mere memory of it. I guess we just had to do all the craziest stuffs that go in our mind. I even remember Janel singing some solos but I won’t post those since she’ll probably be embarrassed to see them but I assure you, she has a really good voice – unlike mine, so coarse. Hehehehehe.

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The third and so far the last batch has occurred just last semester. We’re practically third year students now!! Hurrah for surviving up to this point! And I do hope we can survive till our target graduation date!! Yahooo!!

This batch is a lot more than the previous ones and sadly, the room is way –way – more smaller than I can ever imagine!!! I used to sleep in the couch but this time I can’t because the chair isn’t enough to even accommodate all of us! Can you believe that?! Talk about service! Hmph! Hhehehe! I even remembered meeting a friend there once and there was 16 of them and they got a room which includes a pool table! So why can’t we have that? We were around 9 people at that time… huhuhu…

So here is the new batch of RED BOX individuals and you must admit it.. we are so crowded!!! hahaha! There were so many people I just can't help but say "How the heck did we fit there?!"

Anyway, the following people are the participants: there’s yours truly surviving all three RED BOX gathering, Lui and Sarah from the first and second batch too! There’s also Janel from the second batch. Hurrah, then here are the newbies: Iris (she is our ultimate ancestor… actually, she’s my grandmother, Lui’s mom), Gian (she’s Lui’s sister and Albert’s indirect sister which I don’t know what happened… hmm, I’m the one messing with the family tree), Mark (the YFC family calls him Marky since there’s an overpopulation of Marks over there but he’s not part of the family, he’s a very close-at-heart friend of ours), Margot (she’s new in the family and she’s the chef/carpenter of the family) and lastly, there’s Crystia (she’s new in the family also and is not yet included in the family tree).

So anyway, this batch is consisted of majority of girls. Yes, I know that: the fact that there will be less rock songs. Well it happened but I had fun nonetheless because Gian promised not to sing a song but once the Backstreet boys appeared in the screen, she completely monopolized the microphone without second though and they went all –Backstreet back alright!!! Hahahaha, sadly, Lui, Iris and Crystia had to leave early leaving me, Sarah, Janel, Mark, and Margot behind. We maximized the time we had and the worst case scenario was – when they kept on restarting the whole machine and we got cut-off from our singing time!!! Grrr! How could RED BOX be so unfair?! *sighs*

Don't laugh at the picture on the right. I know Mark looks like some 'chosen one' kiddo over there but he's not and it was a product of boredom since they kept on restarting the machine so we took the time to make a photoshoot! Anyway, on the picture on the left are the people who remained late, Janel, Mark, Sarah, Gian, Margot and me.

Anyway… that’s how I enjoyed my RED BOX days.. not that I’m saying it’s over. It just started so why end it so soon! I know there will be a lot more memories to be shared as long as I have my friends with me – always!!!

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So here are the videos that I've recorded... these are just SOME of them. Don't worry, they are not hazardous to your health... actually, they are!!! :D hehehe! Anyway, enjoy and watch them!

1st Batch

2nd Batch

3rd Batch

YFC Camp: CHOSEN

2008-11-20T18:18:00.000-08:00

This is a picture during the camp. We posed - using Roujo's cam - this is after eating breakfast. It was really fun. So the person at the back is Goodie, he's the one doing all the weird poses. Just joking Goodie. Then there's Jzan (pronounced as Shan) beside me wearing pink then there's me at the center wearing green! :D There's Janel on my other side wearing a college shirt - loyalty to our college! XD Then the one in front playing with her hair is Kram.

I guess after all the anxiety that I've gone through everything has been... WORTH IT!!! I'll be sharing with you everything that has happened in the camp... Well, not really EVERYTHING because that will be spoiling the beauty of the whole event right? So anyway, I'll first give you a pre-camp moments that I've experienced.

So before the camp I was really terrified since I hardly talk to my family any more... thanks to my wonderful schedule that keeps me busy 24/7... Hahaha! So I had no idea if they have an idea - okay that is weird - that I'm about to go away for the weekends since we hardly talked plus, as usual, I couldn't feel the family support. I was terrified of how things are going to be plus it turned out that I'm the only one in our class who will be going - Me, Marky and Janel - who will be a participant since both Marky and Janel are on the service team. WAaaah! Scary! :o

Then that evening, I wrote a letter to my mom informing her that I needed her to sign my waver - though I know it was no longer needed - and informed her of where I was going and how long it will last. The next day, she left me a note saying: Meg - 200. What the?!! Hahahaha, I laughed my butt off at the thought that after all my worrying mom would reply simply by informing me that she left some money for me and aside from that, nothing else. It was kind of hilarious. But I was glad because it meant that she acknowledged my trip plus she signed the waver. Hehehe, :D

So during class which consists of 2 subjects for 6 hours: Filipino and Spanish. I carried a heavy bag with all my clothes to lasts for three whole days - I brought extra! Mind you! :D During class, Jzan (pronounced as Shan) approached me regarding the event, since I had no idea on what the event is all about I told her to just ask Janel since I won't be giving her useful information. She then approached Janel and that's when Lui and I went out to buy some food. when we came back, there was no one in the room so I just chatted away with my friends and when the next class was about to start, Jzan (pronounced as Shan) came in with a large bag telling me that she'll be coming along as a fellow participant!!!! HURRAH! I love it! It was really exciting!

So on the way to Rizal, it was me, Janel, Marky and Jzan together, not expecting the wonderful moments that we were about to face!!!

I don't want to go on for a moment-per-moment recital of how everything happened but I simply want to share with you guys the beauty of the moments we have shared together. I know it'll be dull but honestl,y if you were there it will be the most amazing thing that will happen to your life.

Schedule of events:

Friday
9:00 pm - We left UST for the venue and bid good bye to our friends
10:00 pm - Thank goodness that there was no traffic so we arrived early. We didn't rest much and the first talk - by Waki - has begun

Saturday
1:00 am - I'm not really sure if this is the right time but around this time we were told to go to sleep with a wake-up call at around 7:30 in the morning. We chose not to go to sleep - why? Because we have a quiz on Psychometrics.
6:00 am - Jzan (pronounced as Shan) and I bid goodbye for a moment to focus on studying alone, we both felt asleep around 7:00 then woke up at exactly 7:30 in the morning.
7:30 am - Luckily, they moved the call time at 8:00 so we still had the chance to freshen up. So after freshening up we ate breakfast. We were served a special breakfast since breakfast consists of hot dog and omelet.
9:00 am - There was an activity of introducing one's self... Sadly, this was the time I experienced extreme headache plus I lost my voice. It was pretty sad but I managed to regain my voice by continuously drinking warm water. It wasn't nice but it was worth it though my headache hasn't disappeared but I had fun watching them.
Around 10:00 - 11:00 am - The second talk begun by Mark Matias. It was a pretty nice talk but I was really tired that I could collapse but anyway, I managed myself and it was really good that I did or else - X_X.
Around 1-2 in the afternoon - I no longer have a sense of time at this point because during lunch we had chicken adobo and I hardly ate anything but that's okay and I spent most of my time worrying and reviewing though I didn't really bother to review. Anyway, I think Waki arrived at this time and we prepared ourselves for a long tiring journey.
Around 3 pm - We arrived school safely. We rode the Light Rail Transit so the journey wasn't really as bad as I expected it to be but mind you, I am still tired!!! So Jzan bade goodbye because the last clothe she had was a silk dress - what the?!?! Hahahah, It really made me laugh. So around this time, we met up with Janel's family, took her uniform, changed out clothes then had Waki's manual's ring binded then Jzan came along having hers ring binded too then we sad the people from 3bes2 and they informed us that the quiz is a true or false question! Honestly?! After all the review we did!!!
Around 4:30 - 7:30 pm - So we had our class. I was sleeping almost throughout the discussion but I did managed to revive my strength when Sir Kliatchko started discussing about the interpretation of our tests. It was really funny. We discussed the G-Z test. I was so masculine! Hihihih, I'll leave it to your imagination to think of what it means. :)
Around 7:30 - 8:30, i think, pm - we were supposed to go home with Iris and the others but sadly we didn't since we had to wait for another fellow YFC member, I was a bit edgy at that moment since I was really tired but anyway, we managed to board the LRT on time though it was a bit full and then we had to board a jeepney which - they say - lasted for an hour or so which for me was so quick because I fell asleep on the way and so did Jzan and Marky. Janel was the only one awake and to think she had no sleep! :P
Around 11 in the evening - I woke up irritated and had to be fast-tracked by Kuya Luke about talk 3 because missing a talk is not allowed. I understood what he said but I was so irritated that I couldn't respond nicely - sorry kuya Luke.
Around 11 still - We had the talk four which was led by kuya Gori... it was a wonderful experience though i was soo tired that i actually cursed some people but anyway, whatever happened here is top secret!!! :D Waaah!

Sunday
Around 1 in the morning - we were given an activity per group to dress up a member and for our team we chose Honey - surprisingly, it turned out that it was a pageant!!! :D Hehhehehe! If only i have some videos, it was honestly... a night to remember!! Everybody was laughing and I don't care whatever it was... it was all for God.
Around 2-3 in the morning - the event is still on-going and we were going from crazy to wild! It was super laugh trip. The pageant, the performances, the activities.. hehehe!
3:30-4:30 am - we were finally allowed to sleep and to be awake at around 8 in the morning. It was really a nice thought to sleep but first things first - we left a message on the envelope corner to each and every person there. I have to thank them. I owe them a lot! :)
6:30 am - Jzan and I decided to hit the sack and surprisingly we both woke up at around 8:30 in the morning!! Everybody is finished dressing up by this time but that's fine by me. I had a shower at the boy's side because somebody is using our bathroom! :P
10:00 am - I'm no longer watching the time but this is after breakfast and we left to attend a mass. During the mass I was really praying deeply to the Lord of how thankful I am with everything. I love the people around me and that I never expected to feel this way again - the way I am back in my high school days... wild, happy and energetic.
12:00 pm - i think we had lunch and I ate boiled egg! :D Yum! Dinner? I had none. Hehehehe, it's already too much of a blessing that they are minding my eating habits! :D
1:00 pm - i'm not sure anymore because things were happening but we had talk 5 by Kuya Luke. It was really nice and I was moved. After that I have no idea what time it was and we had a full-course of worship!! It was really fun and we no longer cared what was happening as long as we sing our hearts out to the Lord. It was the most spiritual moment I had. Mind you, Jzan left around the middle of talk 5 so she wasn't there during the worship.
3:00 pm or not - We boarded the jeepney home and bid goodbye to every body, there were hugs and exchanging of cellphone numbers... hihih, I left mine in my bag so I just gave them mine. Anyway, the students of Artes y Letras were together on the same jeepney and we had an open forum together confessing crushes and feelings.
4:30 pm - we arrived safely at UST and still stayed because we wanted to have a sharing - a household, actually. It was a wonderful household and when we said goodbye, it didn't felt like it was a goodbye of forever or this is a one-time big time event, it was goodbye yet it mean: See you later.

I hope that helped you understand what happened to me out there. I couldn't help myself but I really need to share this with you guys!!! :D Hehehehe...! I love the moments, I love the feelings. It was a wonderful camp so I've decided: Next camp I'll pamper myself and be a participant again!! hahahah! Just joking!! :D

We are like a family right? This picture consists mostly of the participants so these are my fellow new-YFC members! Welcome to the family guys!!!

This consists of the whole AB family and I think people from other colleges too! It's hard to distinguish who is who because at that moment, we don't care who we are with!!!

I know that you guys are probably sick and tired of staring at our faces but for once, cam whoring is soooo good that I can't have enough of it!!!

...more cam whoring moments! hahah!

I think this is the complete version meaning: the service team, support team and even the participants all huddled together to create a photograph that will be treasured forever - that sounds so cheesy right? Well, for once, I am cheesy! Hehehehe!

The people on the left are the service team who were having fun outside while the people on the right are the us - the people who boarded the same jeepney together, mind you, the person sitting beside Jzan (pronounced Shan) - who is not me, the other one! On her right, is Cathy. She was sick so she left earlier. Sad.

I really have to place a caption here! So the picture on the right is Jzan (pronounced as Shan), Iris, me and Gian. That's the picture of the night before we left our University. We were supposed to go there through the railway but since we were able to catch up to the provided fair we had to say good bye earlier than we expected but that's fine by me since it was unexpected. Expect the unexpected, right? The picture on the right is when we returned to school on Saturday - while the camp is still going on - because we had classes. I hate it! But we had to endure it and we were so wasted at the moment... Honestly, we were practically sleeping on the benches over there! :D

Ahehehe... so the AB Bakadahan stayed at school - that was unexpected. I was already clamoring to be in my bed since I haven't slept for two whole days and here we are playing around the field acting as if there's nothing wrong with us - not tired, not experiencing headaches, not a thing except that we're spiritually rejuvinated!!! Yahoo!

I bet you find this weird but what the heck! We love it and seem like we're floating... weeeeeee!

This is just some of the shots taken throughout the events. They are mostly stolen! :P

The further left includes me being prayed over! Yahoo! The center is when we were having a discussion group and it likes a photography session from how the picture was taken and the guy on the further right, well he was performing a stunt when we were supposed to introduce ourselves. I didn't join in... sad... because I was experiencing a bad dose of headache.. grrr! Bad timing headache!! T_T

The chicken adobo. The only meal that I get to eat properly over there. Most of the food I ate is EGG. If you didn't know yet, I don't eat meat. :)

The guy who is the main focus of the picture is Chie, he's from a lower batch 2nd year. The reason he did that was because he was the one who took our pictures while we lay on the field so he wasn't part of the people who were inside the semi-circle. Anyway, we disturbed him while he was cam whoring on his own! :D

I bet you're wondering why Jzan (pronounced as Shan) has her solo shots here. Well, that's simply because she won the pageant for Ms. Chosen! The first ever! Mr. Chosen is Roujo... and now that I've realized it, he doesn't have a photo here? He does, yes, but he has no solo shot. Oh well, you'll probably here from here more next time. :) Anyway, the guy at the center is kuya Rocky. It's his birthday and the candle that he is blowing is the one that rekindles - so it took some time before he can actually manage to blow them all off! It was really funny!

My corner:

These are pictures that includes me... me and me!!! So indulge yourself with my beauty!! WAhahahahahahaa! Whoever reacts to that is a dumbass! Joke! :D Peace be with you and also with you, AMEN! :D

...and for that, may God be praised!

Amen.

CHOSEN: before camp

2008-11-13T08:46:00.000-08:00

YFC Camp CHOSEN is formally starting tomorrow! OH MY GOSH! Honestly! I feel so hesitant right now! I don't know why I am experiencing this feeling when I've given so much just to attend this camp. I'm not sure why I'm experiencing last minute panic... I guess it comes with people, like me, who will be participating for the first time. I'm entering a community wherein the only people I know are numbered and the fact that I'll be away from my family for 3 whole days without them showing much care on the matter. I have to admit. I may be not just hesitant right now - worried more like. I just wish I can get over this already because this is a pain in the ass to be honest! I'm going over there to be with GOD! So why the heck should I be hesitant?!

But there will be moments wherein I'll be at ease and relaxed... as if nothing happened. Like another day is here so what's up? Grr... I hate this, I hate myself. I get this is how my anxiety attacks me but anyway, there's not much that I can do about it right? I already paid the amount needed for the night stay... I'll be missing my family but I believe that attending the camp is a must because... I WANT TO KNOW IF I WANT TO BE A YFC MEMBER.

I guess I have a more specific idea of what my heart is hiding... I am confused and everything and I'm blogging because I want it out of my system. I want to go to that camp and feel that God is with me and at the same time back home with my family. I know that HE is with them and with me... I'll be missing my family but I have to do this. I need to grow.

I've been so attached with my family now that even if they don't talk to me - their presence alone is enough to satisfy my heart's desire of how much I love them and how much they care for me. It can be painful for some but you know what... the greatest love doesn't need conversations and hugs always, it needs feelings that will last forever. I guess GOD is trying to teach me what is to be done and what I have to experience. I had asked him that if ever I get to live away from home, will He take care of my family for me. I guess this will be His answer for me.

I pray to the Lord that may my family, friends, enemies, people I haven't met, the sick, the young, the old, the poor, the rich, the strong, the weak even those who have sinned and have not asked for forgiveness... I pray for them to be blessed greatly and may they be guided away from since with the Lord's love and care. We are His children, we are His daughters and sons, brothers and sisters - He loves us more than we can love Him so though I am a bit confused right now, I'll trust everything in His care.

Lord, may the participants of the "Chosen" camp enjoy the whole 3 days with great love and joy as they celebrate with You in Your most loving grace, Lord my God Jesus Christ, protect our families from harm, guide us from sins, help us be your holy people who will be worthy to join You in heaven. Our life is Yours Lord, may this celebration be successful.

Amen.

Semester Break Memories

2008-11-11T06:23:00.000-08:00

Remembering the events that happened this Semester Break... I have to say that I had been so busy to the point that I no longer had time to spend with my family. Well, we still did spend some time with each other but I've been so busy that I didn't realize that I was taking so much time focusing on work rather than the people around me. I know it's sad and I know it's a bit disappointing but anyway, I know I still managed to spend some time with God but also with the people I love.

This is when I woke up at 4 o'clock in the afternoon after working all night till around 7 in the morning! hahaha! I look so haggard! :O

I bet that there are a lot of things that I can still do though the Semester Break is over and classes has once again started but I still have next Semester Break and Christmas Break is coming - that I will never-ever waste finding work! It's the time I will be spending with my family and celebrating Jesus' birthday so I won't waste it there! hehehe, I value God and my family above all and above money. Though.. Christmas is a threat to me since it will most likely mean that I have to spend the money I've saved - and I hope it's enough - because I have to give gifts for my family and friends, "The more you give, the more you receive", right?

Anyway, one of the moments that I can't forget during this Semester Break was when I was so scared one evening since I kept hearing weird sounds around me like something twitching or there will be scratching noises... honestly, I'm a freak when it comes to sounds that I don't know where it comes from - that must be my greatest fear... well now that I think about it... Nah! :D So that evening since I am alone and the computer's in the living room and everybody else is in their rooms... I'm alone and I get to face my almost-greatest-fear alone! But I got over it very soon since I prayed quietly and asked for God's protection and guidance - sheesh! I'm such a freak when it comes to that!

We went to the cemetery... It was fun and we kept on joking around while staying over for a while and ate some chips and drank Fit and Right while letting time pass. It was really fun!

So going on about my Semester escapade... I actually organized a team together with Vince and Jazz about creating a blog that will be handled by us. I still haven't finished the web lay-out so I'm a bit on fault but after finishing some semester requirements that have been asked - at the start of the semester! Come on! - I'll be finishing it immediately! I feel so sad that I kind of wasted my Semester Break working but I know God wanted me to learn from the experience and expand my world and stop being self-centered though I still haven't improved that much! hahaha! But honestly, I think the Semester Break is meant for me to learn and grow!

So what are the other things I did during the Semester Break? Well, we did go to the cemetery and had some fun there while we kept on teasing each other about stuff - I actually remember how I teased my mom that she should do this and that - by the way, the person we are visiting is my grandfather. I have never met my grandfather, to be honest, but somehow I know how special and great he is when he was alive. He is an artist. I saw an artwork of his displayed in our living room before, it was removed when I was still young. I guess it was because the house underwent reconstruction. The artwork he made was on the shore and there was this bangka or boat and it is painted in the shade of black and white. It was wonderful. I felt so great when I was staring at it as a child and even now, as I try to recall what it looks like. There was something about it that makes it mysterious yet relaxing at the same time. No wonder I aspired to be an artist though I'm not as talented as my grandfather, I love art and adore it more than anything else. I'm an art fan! Hurrah! Art fans!

I cooked Carbonara for the first time and it was sooo great! I have to share the beauty of cooking! Actually, I cooked by just collecting ingredients from the internet and the cooking style - well, it's all based on my cooking skills that I've inherited from my father! :D

Another fun thing I did during this Semester Break - ooh, I'm so excited to share this fact! Well, I cooked Carbonara for the first time!! Hurrah! Well here are the ingredients that I've used:

Cream of mushroom
All purpose cream
Condense milk
Chicken
Chicken broth
Butter or olive oil
Onion
Garlic
Cheese
Flour

First, I prepared the chicken and had it boiled in water since I want it cooked for later and while at it, I chopped some onion and garlic and grated some cheese. I also prepared the cream of mushroom by heating it up and mixing it - just like what the instruction on the sachet specified. Once that was over, I melted the butter on a pan and added the onion and garlic. Of course, olive oil can be used but I used butter. Then, once the garlic turns golden brown, I added the cream of mushroom - I experience a problem here because the chicken meat wasn't cooked yet so I had to include it later. So the Carbonara tastes like cream of mushroom soup by now - Hahahaha! To be honest, I didn't try to taste it until I've finished cooking but anyway, once the chicken meat is okay I immediately added it. I added the All Purpose Cream and the condense milk and waited for it to boil. When it did, I added the broth cube to let the flavor of the chicken spread~ Yay! Chicken lovers galore! After that, I adjusted the taste by adding cheese - I accidentally added a lot! Hahaha! Surprisingly, it became the alternate for the salt since the cheese itself has its own saltiness, hehe, plus the flour became optional since the cheese already made the sauce thick already and that's what the flour is for.

Now for the taste, surprisingly it was good! I even doubted myself that I had to ask my cousin to try it to and she agreed - Hurrah!!! When my brother came home he ate it too though he didn't give a comment about whether or not it was good but he was the one who ate most of it and that made me really happy! Hehehe, simple joys of a cook.

Actually, I don't eat red meat any more. We have Spaghetti and I had to watch them eat it and I was envious - I love pasta!!! So I couldn't help it any more and I cooked my own Carbonara, isn't that great? I guess envy brings about determination to do something instead of sitting back and watch them in pain - huhuhu, poor me! Of course I made my Carbonara, as I've specified earlier, personalized and I want it to suite my taste! Isn't that great? :)

So those are just some of the things that I love about this Semester Break. There's a lot more to be honest but I have to say that though I was really busy... I guess looking around and making sure that the people around you are still well-taken cared of with great love and care - including yourself, makes the best of the best in a Semester Break!

Team Kangkong!

2008-11-03T05:23:00.000-08:00

We are currently working on a new blog named "Kangkong"

This is a blog that will be personally designed by me and the contents will be taken cared by my friends: Jazz and Vince. We're working hard to come up with a unique blog that will definitely rock the World Wide Web! Hhehe! We will be presenting our own works and some of our random thoughts that are wonderfully original.

Though this haven't been discussed yet this is what I have in mind:

Jazz will be the official group writer. She will most likely handle updates and drabbles that will inform the viewers of the what's up and what's new. I think she'll do most of the tedious jobs.. heheh! :D

Vince will be the one who will submit designs that we will be selling on the web. There can be pre-ordered designs. Of course the copyright of the works are totally under our website! Hehe, that's another one less job for me! :D

Me? Well, let's just say I'm the slacker of the group. I'll be sitting back and I'll most probably handle all the promotion and other stuffs like changing the lay-out and arranging the post! Hey, that makes me an adviser-like individual right? Cool.. they have no idea about this though! hahahah! :D I'll be posting the current banner I made out of forcing myself to make one.

Hehehe... we still don't have a full-proof plan and there are some others who wants to join the team! I do hope this will become a success! :D

My Walk with God

2008-10-15T00:54:00.000-07:00

How many times has it been that I have said... "God, I love you" yet somehow, the words just seem like they're flying out of the window and that my heart is not IN it... there was no feeling of guiltiness though... It was simply like... I was merely stating that fact without any real intentions. Cruel? Very...

After some time, I faced a lot of things in life and with whatever I do... I didn't exactly call for God's help nor did I raise my hands up to the heavens above and cried loudly "...Jesus help me". I find that I'm more capable of handling things and I don't want to trouble God of what's happening with me, HE should bother with those who are in more need. I was confident with myself, more confident than I could ever imagined.

Some months later, I encountered a problem and knowing myself, no matter how painful an event could be I will never-ever-ever cry or ask for anyone's comfort. I was devastated. I had no where to run to... not my friends or family or the people I know. It was merely me against the world. I was at the brink of approaching a friend or two but no mater what I do I just can't find the HEART to open up to them because I knew very well... the barrier I built to protect my heart is too strong... too powerful than even I who built it couldn't break it... that's when I closed my eyes and prayed "God, help me... Please be beside me, I need you".

After that everything around me changed. I realized how much I needed God in my life that if all else fails HE's the only one who will LOVE me more than I could ever LOVE HIM and that HE's the only one who understands me more than anyone else and that the barrier I built against others has already been penetrated without me realizing... penetrated by HIM.

Why did HE do such a thing? After all the half-meant "I love you" that I've said and the thank you that weren't really meant... I knew in my heart that my prayers were merely out of respect and acknowledgment that HE deserves and yet HE did all THIS! It was too much and too unworthy of me to receive, the tears in my eyes were no longer about the pain I've felt but to the shame I felt... I was so shameful to be half-hearted when GOD was serious about me all the time.

Now, I realized that GOD isn't just caring, loving, blessing, merciful, all-powerful and all that... HE is also someone who accepts you the moment you accept HIM and that HE will take care of you even if you're half-hearted because HE knows that no matter how HALF-HEARTED you are, someday, You who has accepted HIM will also reciprocate the LOVE HE gives to you and though it may take some time, the moment you can honestly say "Jesus Christ, my Lord, my God, you are the love of my life the strength and the light" is the moment that you'll realize... in your WALK in life, at first you were behind GOD but now, you're walking right beside HIM.

Pictures can talk

2008-10-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

Pictures can talk... :D Check out why!

When it comes to vanity... I'm not really into in but here are two pics they took of me so that's that... hahaha~

For GOD

2008-10-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

I am finally entering something into my blog again but don't blame me for updating, I'm just the typical me... lazy. Hahaha~ but anyway, I bet you MISS me so I'll be really really REALLY and I won't be teasing you a lot... what the HECK am I talking about? I'm a bit sleepy right now so that must be it... "Sleepiness is dangerous". So you have been PRE-WARNED!!!

Anyway, enough about me going crazy while it's still early... yeah, dead early! It's near 1 o'clock and I'm still AWAKE... grrr, I want to SLEEP but working on my literature term paper is a bit of a drag and it needs a lot of intensive research.. what's a girl to do? WORK. bow. Hehehe~ I know I haven't been working on things a lot lately and I've been pretty lazy and stuff but I still want to give my BEST because that's all that I can give plus I pray which is better than the best, it's best than the best. Yet somehow, I know that in order to achieve that I also need to do something in return. I can't exactly always pray for everything to happen! There's magic, yes, but there's no such thing as an achievement without any effort and somehow I want to give all the effort that I can give into what I do because I know that in doing so, I can proudly give it to GOD.

So furthermore, I'll be going to the Polythenic University of the Philippines which is also known as P.U.P.. The reason I'm going there is because I want a break. I can't exactly live my life on the same things. I need to recharge my batteries and remember who I REALLY AM! It's not that I'm lost or something like that... it's just that. I want to see me, and be me. I think I already lost a lot of things in life and somehow, GOD told me that there are other things that I need to take a look at. I'm an idiot. I do a lot of idiotic things. That's what we, idiots, do best. Somehow, I want to mend the broken things... there's always hope even in what we humans consider as hopeless because I believe in GOD and as long as HE believes in us... I don't have any RIGHT to GIVE UP the fight. We all go through things like this... we just need to work hard and give it our best because GOD is always with us, and HE is with us even if we don't see HIM. Believe. Have faith.

I'm probably going religious right now, but it's what I do best. I made a lot of mistakes and I want you to know that there's still hope in fixing things and I don't want to give up because in doing so... then I'm giving up on GOD.

Stay strong!

Have faith!!

Trust GOD as I do to HIM. Give EVERYTHING to HIM and HE will give EVERYTHING to You as HE did to ME.

I give this blog entry to GOD, for always guiding and loving me, despite the fact that I'm so useless, hopeless and selfish. HE is my inspiration, light, guide, and life.

I love HIM

but HE loves me more...

I adore HIM

but HE adores me more...

I cherishes HIM

but HE cherishes me more...

I can never be like HIM but somehow, I know that by BELIEVING and LOVING HIM... is more than enough for HIM. I could give HIM more, but HE does not asks for it...

HE is the BEST oF THE BEST OF THE BEST. Somehow, I don't think saying that is enough... HE is MORE than words can measure.

Random stuffs to go through!

2008-08-31T08:07:00.000-07:00

So what's up people? hehehe... I promised my sis Janel that I would update so here I am... *bows*... anyway.. I've been thinking for a while not on what should I first post? So trivia: it's currently 11:09 pm - care of the computer clock - and I'm still outside from the protection of my four-walled home since I have to do a lot of research, sheesh!

Anyway, today has been fun since it had been some time since I had lunch with my mom and go to church and go shopping with her. I love going shopping with her since I get to buy stuffs that I love! I'm a little bit disappointed that I didn't manage to sneak in a can of tuna but next time I will!!! I did got some bread, biscuits and beverages so I guess I should be happy about those stuffs for NOW! hahahah~ talk about hunger strike. Lui's on a hunger strike by the way. Silly girl. I was supposed to visit her today but I wasn't able to since Robinson... the Taft area is flooded plus it was already around 8 in the evening... healthy time to go home huh? Sheesh... but anyway, I was there due to organization reasons. Jzan and I are now assigned to work on a project proposal to have us go to somewhere in Pampanga - which I kept on forgetting and teach the kids and make a feasibility study over there. My current problem as of the moment is the module I'm assigned to do since it's rather difficult to acquire an Elementary curriculum... what's the use of the Department of Education? I'm not sure... hahahaa! Just joking, I got some facts from them but I'm not sure I acquired what I wanted to have but anyway, anything could be helpful so that's that.

Enough of today, I kinda told Janel that I would be posting about our HUNGER STRIKE... err.. rephrase... our TIPID MODE activities and our duly elected treasurer, Margot! :D hehehe, so this all started when they wanted to buy this particular gadget... it's a digital camera. Not really my passion. I'm into laptops. Stupid passion, why do I have to go for the luxurious stuffs? I'm stupid. Enough of me. So anyway, they targeted to save up to 9k this coming Christmas... I kinda joined it without thinking of the consequences: NO EXTRA MONEY!! NO MORE EXTRA STUFFS TO BUY!!! So we were supposed to save up to 350php per week... so I go to school 6 days a week... and usually I even leave on a Sunday so if I add my daily allowance which is 100php... this does not include internet expenses, etc. So if I save have my money everyday, I get 350php!!!! I just realized that! OH MY! So I'm not TOTALLY poor! Yehey! Let's go ahead and throw the confetti's!! Hihihih... but anyway, I'm still short of money since I get to use money a lot... poor mom. :'( ---> 'Sad face'.

Trivia: Jzan kept saying 'Sad face' when she wants to say 'Sad...' I wonder why? I do hope it doesn't rub on me... OR ELSE!!!

So anyway, we get to have money for Christmas... that means!! *grins* MONEY! And things to buy... I better buy my brother an mp3 player since he kept requesting THAT... to shut him up. Just joking! :) hehehe... but I just hope I give better gifts this Christmas, I find myself always giving mediocre stuffs, I'm not really satisfied. And... OH MY GOSH!!!!

Okay!! The huge oh my gosh came for a reason and here's why! The people I have to give gifts to this Christmas just increased... Waaah.. I don't really want to specify but I need to count them. So let's take in a deep breathe and count...

My family

Mom
Dad
Brother
Sister
Grandmother

My College Friends

Janel
Lui
Margot
Iris
Gian
Sarah
Albert
Crystia
Judith
Jay
Jigo
Jzan - I included her since we're spending a lot of time together now and she won't be able to read this anyway! hahaha~

My High School Friends

Janice
Jazz
Annie
Phemy
Vince
Vina
Rascal
Paeng
Pauldo (not really sure...)
any one who I forgot... :D Peace be with you!

My other friends

Ruby

Let me cry... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! 5 + 12 + 10 + 1 =.... please don't bother answering. I will do the torture myself... 5 + 12 is 17 + 10 is 27... (OH MY!!!) and + 1 is 28!!!

I better not let Christmas come... oh yeah, I probably forgot some people... OH NO!!!

rain.. rain.. go away!!!

2008-08-21T05:55:00.000-07:00

So last Tuesday, we all (meaning the bes1 family or our barkada) went to the famous... okay, famous to us since it's our catharsis area! hahaha~ let me explain what catharsis means... it means, go wild and have fun! hahahaha!

Anyway, so we went to Trinoma to have some fun because honestly - we need it big time. So before we went there we had our Art Appreciation class, and what the heck, it's the day we were supposed to present our Self-portraits. It is actually a disastrous self-portrait because we were forced to find inspirations from prominent artists even if our TRUE inspirations aren't those famous dead dudes - okay, not all of them are dead but I had Michaelangelo in mind and he's dead so I mentioned dead there. So going on, our works weren't exactly what you'd call 'from the bottom of our hearts' - at least for me it is, I had a work I finished earlier on and since I couldn't find any FAKE inspiration on that work, I had to drop it and do something else - a chibi anime style which I patterned to Naruto. Hmm... but anyway!!!! :D hehehe, so we had that stupid 'portraits' at hand and were told to post it in front and while at it, the performance artists were supposed to show their works. Bea broke the ice, she had a weird performance for a self-portrait, with her killing the doll... don't tell me she's implying that she's actually a disturbed individual... that's how it came to me but I won't comment any further.! :)

So after all the performances with some of them going from lame-to-lamer since all they did is cry and not everyone bothered giving their performance's title... so how were we supposed to understand those acts of theirs? I have no idea, honestly! hahaha~ so I'm being mean to them but don't blame me because what is really pissing me - and Gian and Iris and Judith and... okay... so goes on the lists.... - is the fact that Ma'am Guevarra is so biased on how she judges our works. She isn't allowed to show bias because in the first place, it is a SELF-PORTRAIT... and if she still doesn't understand what I mean I will further elaborate... those works are a reflection of who we are and her freakingly stupid discrimination of our works is already a way of her showing on how discriminating she could be on our personalities - talk about objectivity! She's so subjective! HMP! So much for her ideologies... she got great ideas but she lacks the will to execute them.

So enough of that... if I discuss THAT any further, I could probably kill someone beside me... ooh. There are two guys beside me so I'll choose between them, but it's kind of hard to choose so I'll most likely kill them both. :)

Anyway, about our moment at Trinoma, so this time we are 9 in population. Me, my lola, my mummy, my sis, our cook/carpenter, our dog, the yfc representative, our depressed friend and my aunt/our house plant (bonsai). So there were no extra factors like my sis requested and I'm glad about that. So if you know about our family tree, you could tell who are the ones who are included in the room though the room is very small for all of us... it was really fun all the same. So of course we had to enter our songs then sing and stuff, I entered rock songs which I usually sing and a weird thing here is my voice is high pitched... must've been from singing all night long here in my home which includes my dad shutting the door on me just so he could sleep QUIETLY. :) I'm such a nice daughter... I better move the pc.. and fast! Or else they'll move it outside the house so I would sing there... bad thought!!! Waah... hahaha!

So anyway, we stayed there from 3 o'clock in the afternoon up to 6:30 pm even though we were supposed to stay there till 7... meanies!! But anyway, I still haven't talked to Albert and Jay - though Jay did talk to me and I'm having the heart to forgive him since he approached me and said sorry without any explanation... awww... my sweet lil 'ol brother! :) He deserves a hug next time, hehehe.. I was mean to him when we met. I had dysmynorhea at that time... and funny fact, after lunch (fresh veggie lumpia + buko pandan juice)... my so-called 'dysmynorhea' disappeared... so what is really that or I'm just freaking hungry? I better think about that carefully... hahahaha! :D

Going home was fun though our opinions against Art Appreciation is still there but what the heck, the bias was obvious and we were irritated.. so could you ever EVER blame us? :) I wonder if you can... hahaha!

Good gracious!! I just remembered... this is a quick commercial: mushiness was STARING at me when we had a prelim examination with them!Talk about disturbed dude... I better make him forget about me soon and I mean it seriously... or else! Waaah~ *panics*

So enough of prelims... I don't want to remember anything about that... though, I did my passed Spanish exam... :D *grins* it was unexpected and I didn't study so I thank GOD for letting me pass without copying any answers. Wooh! That's a relief! :)

So enough of that... I just remembered that yesterday, Gian and I had the weirdest idea that any human being would probably won't do on a rainy day: WALK. Yup, we walked all the way to España market and guess what... the usual scene on the way there: FLOOD. Hahaha, that's so much for an idea. I was a bit luckier since I'm wearing slippers but Gian's wearing high shoes so that was a bit of a hold back. Hehe. But anyway, so we had an ADVENTURE on the way which includes clinging on to some old railings while trying to cross a street without attacking the dirty canal water or holding on to a beautiful posts just so we could cross the street... cool, talk about clinging on to the blade - literally. :D hehehe~ my only question here is: WHAT WERE WE BOTH THINKING TO DECIDE TO DO THAT? but anyway, we were a bit impulsive at that time since waiting would be a rudy waste of time so I don't blame anyone for what happened. :) hehehe~ it's both our fault and we both decided to do it.

So today... I went emo this afternoon and started crying but that's nothing new when it comes to me right? A lot of things are making me sad lately, simple small stuffs but I don't really notice them until I realized that they're all piled up and that the feeling is so huge I wanted to cry so I cried. That's that. Hehehe, GOD had been with me all the time I was crying so I'm so much better right now, HE made me read great advices so I'm all good right now, hehehe, I won't make it through without HIM. :) So I give everything I have to HIM.

Lastly... I made a weird translation of a line said by Cassandra on Agamemnon... it is a tragedy by the way but anyway... we are supposed to read it with feelings tomorrow so good luck to me and the world! hahaha! :D Yay!

Here's the original:

Yet one word more. I pray the Sun in heaven.

On whom I look my last, that he may grant

To him who shall come to avenge my master

(Cassandra enters palace)

Unto him the Immortals accorded the fall

Of the city of Troy,

And with honours he returns to his home.

But now, if the debt of the blood of the past

Is on hi, if his death must crown it and pay

To the dead their price for the slaughtered of old,

Then who, when he hears these things, is assured

Of a life free of sorrow?

Here's the translation which I will read with emphasis on the emotions:

Pero ako’y may sasabihin pa. Ako’y nananaig sa araw sa kalangitan.

Na siya kong huling madadatnan, na ipagpala nito

Sa kanya na dadating upang ipaghiganti ang aking panginoon.

(Pumasok si Cassandra sa palasyo)

Sa kanya na bumagsak ang mga immortal

Ng ciudad ng Troy,

At ng may karangalan siya ay umuwi.

Pero ngayon, kung ang kasalanan ng nakaraan

Ay nasa kanya, kung ang kamatayan niya ang dapat maging kabayaran nito

Sa mga patay na ang katumbas ay ang kamatayan ng nakakatanda,

Eh di sino, sa tuwing maririnig niya ito, ang makakasigurado

Ng buhay na walang kalungkutan?

Finally posting something...

2008-08-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

So how long has it been since my last post? I don't want to check... I might actually laugh my butt off... haha~ and to think I have a huge butt! Wee... Insane mode again huh? Well, it happens every now and then and I can't avoid it... it happens! Well, let's see you try to avoid it when IT happens to you! :D

So here I am, by the way, finally promoting our Art Appreciation Yahoo Groups! :) the reason I'm promoting it more than the three bes one is that, this one is owned by me! So I get to boss people around... or at least that is how I imagine it! I really want to have a personal website of my own! :D That would be wonderful, right? hehehe~

Click to join BES_APP_0809

So anyway, I'm busying myself with downloading anime episodes of Ghost Hunt! :D I guess this is DEFINITELY the anime to be downloaded! Hehehe, I haven't regretted wasting my time, just like now on this one. :) I love the anime plus the plot isn't really bad... it's great! I guess I never had any convincing ghost story that would really creep me out until this anime came into my life - for a moment... I sounded so cheesy! Eew... cheesy talk! I have a new admirer and he isn't someone I would love to entertain or consider as a boy friend option! Because first off, he's not my type. Yup, I'll die with just that as an explanation. Second, I don't even know the guy too well to date him! At least THAT made more sense right? I mean, come on, I'm not someone who would go around saying 'Date me' to guys who I think I like or I think I hate then go to wonderland, movie or anywhere where couples usually ran to... you get the idea right?

Anyway, don't blame me for hating the guy. He's so damn cheesy! grrr... I already hated my last admirer for being cheesy though he isn't exactly the cheesiest person alive but he was still cheesy and it made me laugh - because I like him! Grr... I won't deny that fact. You know the reason why we're not TOGETHER right now, right? If you don't... contact me and I'll give you a blow-by-blow version of my story, since I don't know his! But if he does consider telling me, I would gladly listen! :)

So going on about this cheesy guy... oh yeah! I just remembered! We have a preliminary exam for Art Appreciation and Literature tomorrow... talk about studying, and here I am typing this and wasting my time mesmerizing whatever it is to be mesmerized... by the way, I hate that stupid witch for being so full of herself and underestimating other people! Just because we were given an identification test and they don't get to have it and the rest of the tests are easy doesn't mean that she should go ahead and get full of herself and brag that poor us - people who underwent the identification exam. She was freaking mocking us?!!!!! Can you believe the nerve of that witch? I mean, come on! She doesn't even have half my brain! She's so freaking stupid... Okay, I may be getting a bit over board but I hate her as of this moment. God, I'm sorry. sigh. Why are people so freaking full of themselves? I better cool down or I may kill her tomorrow... freaking slut.

So forgetting about that stupid witch, let's go on to the weirdo cheesy guy. This weird cheesy guy kept on texting me whenever I sent him a quote. It doesn't bother me... at first! Because I thought it was pure friendship, you know how innocent I could be when it comes to these things!!!! *blinks innocently*... then he goes around flirting with me. Hmp. Idiot. I act dense because I don't want to understand him but I am definitely not dense plus I hate his punch lines and the way he tries to say 'I really like you' despite not saying it directly. HONESTLY!!! Dude, come on! Can't you at least be honest for once in your life so I could turn you down as properly as possible... Sheesh... people these days. Can't they even think properly?

Oh yeah, I also learned one fact about myself. Whenever I honestly answer a question, I have the tendency to make it sound like I'm bitter especially when I'm not. Can you believe that? Hahaha... it took me a while to realize that and it's freaking funny. Okay. I am being weird again... but at least I ain't cheesy right? hahaha! Wee... this is so fun, I'm like backstabbing the cheesiest guy alive and what the heck! I should stop this. This is mean. Me likey. :D

Commercial breaks? Hmm... let me think. I'm starting to hate someone who kept on saying irrelevant stuffs that doesn't concern me. Bow. I won't elaborate. Anyway, that didn't came out as a commercial break huh? So let me think again...?

I also hate Jay and Albert.

Not a commercial break again. What the heck?! This post is full of hate!? What happened to world peace and harmony? Where's... where's... what should I be looking for? Edward Cullen? Eew... I totally hate the book Twilight... well, not totally to tell you the truth but I'm quite disappointed with the waste of the story. It had a great start but as the story progressed... It kept on turning... awkward? I'm not sure if that's the proper term but I started hating it in the latter part. I mean come on!!! You're boyfriend's a freaking vampire who is trying to preserve your life and you selfishly want him to take a bite of you and suck the life out of you!!! Wow! Talk about a self-centered protagonist who never gave her very loving boyfriend any considerations! Talk about LOVE! UGH!! Enough! Enough! Enough! :D

So what happened to the commercial breaks? I wonder... I don't have any nice idea. I guess this is my catharsis... so don't blame me for being freaking selfish right now and just typing hate-posts! :D hahaha... this is something new so I'll read this again after clicking Publish Post. hehehe, :) I want to have my own site NOW!!! :O

But what the heck... come what may! :)

God bless...

Tired...Tired... Blurred?!

2008-07-28T08:43:00.000-07:00

Okay... first off, i'll be making this entry short since I only posted out of the fact that I haven't posted anything in a while :) Yay~ ain't that bad of me? hahaha...

anyway, I'm really tired right now! And the computer I'm using here is making my vision blurry... i wonder why? I'm not too sure though... I'm working on my assignment in Art Appreciation and I didn't expect it to be THIS difficult.. oh my, :O anyway, it's a good thing my sis followed me here or else...!!! I will go home alone... err? Is she still here? Can't see her? Plus the fact that she isn't signalling me to go home any time soon... SHE WANTS TO STAY?? ooh... bad! I'm tired and I still have to work on this tomorrow, my oh my right? Oh well, I believe I can manage this so I just have to be patient and work hard and give my best, right? Gambatte-ne!!

Anyway, that's that! Ciao!! :)

Promoting :)

2008-07-06T03:37:00.000-07:00

Well... just want to say that I still haven't promoted my blog to many so i'm gonna start by... NEXT TIME that I log in~ :) I forgot to do it this time, oh well, peace be with everyone!

New Day. New Life

2008-06-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

I guess I haven't really trusted a lot of the other people I claimed important. It's one of the most vital things that is required in every relationship and something that I lack... a lot!!! ~grr... what kind of human being am I?! I'm a perfect example of someone so imperfect - hehehe, sorry, I kinda love the sentence when it came into my mind! I love ironic stuff~ just like the idea of a thief not wanting to rob anything but is required to do so, well, that character just came into my mind so don't expect anyone to have an idea on what the heck I am talking about!!

Commercial break:
During our Filipino Class... we were forced to sing the songs we translated from English to Filipino... and the weird part here is singing in front of the class with everybody staring at you! I'll upload the videos next time, :) So let's enjoy the fun~ hahaha!

Going back to whatever I was blabbing about earlier... I need to get a move on with my life regarding my online stories~ I mean, I kept saying that I'm about to update and how long is forever?! I haven't updated at all... I'm such a freak... grr... T.T

Commercial 2:
I'm promoting our new yahoo groups for 3Bes1, :) I'll ask Hazel to make me a moderator... I want to make some adjustments and stuffs... hahaha! Fun, fun life~ I have a lot of things in mind! AND I just realized that I have more commercials than actual post... grr..! Bad me~

Click to join 3besone

Anyway! I've been really wanting to have fun and I realized that being myself is most fun and whether or not people accept me... I'll be happy on just how things are! Naaakz~ that is so me! hehehe! Oh well, I'm just gonna kick those people' s asses who kept on saying bad stuff about me! I'm not perfect and so are they so they, like me, have no right to talk about other people behind those people's back!

Commercial 3:
I read two of Mon's post and I got irritated with the drama part about not having friends... so 'arte'! Can't he at least push some effort to analyze the situation and stop complaining! DUH?! I have it when I read those kind of post but anyway~ I'm not really mad! Just a bit disappointed! :P hehehe, I thought he knew better! Oooh well~

So last words on the matter... I want to download a lot of manga! Nana is sooooooooo great! Honestly, I recommend everyone to read it or watch it! I guess the reality it pose to the readers is so real and good, I can't help but fall in love with the story and the characters~ It's 12:18am and I'm still outside surfing the net~ what a life! ngeee... better call the PLDT My DSL promo soon so I could have a normal surfing life at home *Sigh* I hate PLDT, but I have no choice though XP hahahaha~

Last commercial:
I love my friends and from this day on I swear I'll try my best to be stronger and I thank GOD above all for taking care me a lot, especially when I am down and troubled~ hhihihihih! :D I owe a lot to HIM!~ yay! Happy, happy life! :D

I really thought that the earlier words would be last but I guess I'm so talkative I won't stop talking till someone tells me to SHUT UP! noooooooo~ that would be bad or i'll be staying here forever! Ngee... that is so unhealthy plus the download server on this place is not in favor to me... waaaaaaaaaah~ oh well, but I have to admit that the server is faster here but the download system is the problem but this place is secured virus free thought~ I'm glad about that! ehehehe, :) At least I won't be placed in any situation wherein I'll be endangering my USB! hahaha~ I love my USB more than me? No way~ hahahaha! :D

Saturday - Fall Out Boy

Here's the song I translated:

"Saturday"
by Fall-out Boy

I'm good to go
And I'm going nowhere fast
It could be worse
It could be taking you there with me
I'm good to go
But it looks like I'm still on my own

I'm good to go
For something golden
Though the motions I've been going through have failed
And I'm coasting on potential towards a wall
At a 100 miles an hour

When I say
Two more weeks
My foot is in the door (yeah)
I can't sleep
In the wake of Saturday (Saturday)
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended

Pete and I attacked the lost Astoria
with promise and precision and mess of youthful innocence
And I read about the afterlife
But I never really lived more than an hour (more than an hour)

When I say
Two more weeks
My foot is in the door (yeah)
I can't sleep
In the wake of Saturday (Saturday)
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended

And I read about the afterlife
But I never really lived
And I read about the afterlife
But I never really lived

Two more weeks
My foot is in the door
Me and Pete
In the wake of Saturday
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended
Saturday
When these open doors were open-ended
Saturday
Saturday

My translation:
A/N: You can sing the song using my lyrics~ Yay! My national language is Filipino and I'm a Filipina~ hehehe, MABUHAY PHILIPPINES!! :)

“Sabado”

translated by Me :)

Handa na ako

At wala akong pupuntahan

Pwedeng lumala

Dalhin ka nito papunta sa akin

Handa na ako

Pero mukhang ako’y mag-isa lang

Handa na ako

Para sa ‘sang hiwaga

Kahit na ang galaw na dinadaanan ko’y sawi

At ako’y naghahanap ng potensyal sa pader

Sa bilis na 100 milya

Pagsinabi ko

Dalawang linggo

Ang paa ko’y nasa pinto (Oo)

Di ako makatulog

Sa gising ng Sabado (Sabado)

Sabado

Nang ang pintong ito’y bukas sa dulo

Sabado

Nang ang pintong ito’y bukas sa dulo

Ako’t si Pete’y umatakae sa Astoria

Ng may pangako at presisyon at gulo ng kabataan

At nabasa ko ang kabilang-buhay

Pero di pa ako nabubuhay ng higit sa ‘sang oras (higit sa ‘sang oras)

Pagsinabi ko

Dalawang linggo

Ang paa ko’y nasa pinto (Oo)

Di ako makatulog

Sa gising ng Sabado (Sabado)

Sabado

Nang ang pintong ito’y bukas sa dulo

Sabado

Nang ang pintong ito’y bukas sa dulo

At nabasa ko ang kabilang-buhay

Pero di pa ako nabubuhay

At nabasa ko ang kabilang-buhay

Pero di pa ako nabubuhay

Dalawa pang linggo

Ang paa ko’y nasa pinto

Ako’t si Pete

Sa gising ng Sabado

Sabado

Nang ang pintong ito’y bukas sa dulo

Sabado

Nang ang pintong ito’y bukas sa dulo

Sabado

Sabado

~Hope you enjoyed that!!

Over and over again!

2008-06-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

How long has it been since I last wished wistfully that I wanted to die? I don't know exactly but ever since college, I restricted myself from having those kind of thoughts because it is so unhealthy plus ever since I fell in love with God, I don't think it's something He would want to happen to me... He's really great! :)
Anyway, recently, there has been a lot of ill-events in my life that I couldn't handle anymore. My emotions are going around so much yet I still have no idea whatsoever what it is that I should do to be able to handle the situation better. It's really sad yet my face says so otherwise. Am I an idiot? I don't know, I must be... and a really good one at that! Because for a long time I've been putting up with my insanity and still haven't gotten sick and tired of it... Miracles do happen huh? I'm not really making much sense right now but I have to clear the fact that I can't find the purpose of my life anymore... it feels like I'm a totally useless git!

Commercial break from all the drama:
The kid placed beside me is playing Tutti Cuti: The Ice Cream Parlour Game.. ahihihi, so kawaii~ Where did she find that game? I kind of like it... I'm a bit envious! Haha! I want to go around catching ice creams that flies from out of nowhere while holding a cone... though I'm not really the one eating it though... aww! SAD!

Cut! So going back to my drama, I have no life, I'm useless, I'm a bitch and I'm loosing the reason to live. Honestly, I just believe that my pet dogs are my only reason for living and once they leave me... I don't think I have anything left for me... I love them yet you can't really expect thjem to feel the same way for me! They're freaking dogs plus they're not personally mine... I'm just like their caretaker or something. If yu ask for my friends... I don't think I have any. I've been so distant with everybody that I no longer share a connection with them plus I'm ruining their lives when I'm a around! hahaha~ I just want to laugh about it but honestly... it's so sad then here at home, everyone is so distant. Honestly, I don't think I have much of a life anymore and I'm on the verge on going crazy.... hehehe, Why am I like posting this Last Will and Testament kind of entry in my blog? ahahah~ well, no body really cares about me anymore so I don't think anybody really cares about what happens in my life. Honestly, I'm kind of a loner nowadas and I no longer have anything to hold on in life but I hope and pray that I can pass through this storm with a happy and honest heart. I pray for the best and believe in God above all. If I day one of these days, it's all my fault but if I didn't... well, that means I'm meant to let this storm pass and make it through despite all the pain.

Last commercial break:
Go and read the manga Nana or watch the anime. It's really nice yet sad. I really appreciate the story and love the events that occurred. It's a bit sad yet I love the reality imposed on the story... I fell in love with Shin by the way~ he's mine! That's stupid prostitute who's just 15 year old! Can't believe that Kanata Hongo took that boy's role~~ Kawaii!!! hahahaha! :D anyway, Nana really has one of the best storylines ever!!!

So for my final words in this post, if ever I post something after this in a few days or weeks... that must've mean that I haven't died yet~ heheh! :D

To my best friend...

2008-06-16T05:49:00.000-07:00

STOP! Before you read this let me warn you of some things first… this letter may or may not be addressed to you at all but it doesn’t matter whether you read it or not. All that I ask for those who wants to waste their time reading this is to respect everything I have written here. Don’t point out any wrong grammars!!! I’m not good, I know that! So don’t make me more upset than I am now~ Grr….!!! Rarrrr!!!

Anyway, this supposed to be short letter of mine contains emotions I can’t share with anybody else face-to-face but at least thru letters or journals or any medium that doesn’t involve you guys seeing me fall apart, I can. This has something to do with my ‘pride’ issue.

If you just plan to pry on my life and make some stupid comments about it then don’t read this but if you came here in concern of what’s up with me… well, please read on. All I ask is respect… I may not have the right to ask people to give me respect since I am a very disrespectful person but at least this one time… let me pour my heart out to the world.

Thank you.

Dear friend,

“Hey, what’s up? What have you been doing lately? I really miss you…”

I counted the words in that quoted sentence and it consisted of 13 words… you better count again to make sure, I may have miscounted so I’ll double check it later. You know… that sentence is something I wanted to tell you for a long time now! I really miss you, swear! I even want to hug you and say “Yo, girl!” with an American accent and all, funny isn’t it? Well, that’s because I’ve been watching too much American films lately… I’m bored to death here at home except of course when I play with the puppies who take the time of their lives to ignore me as much as they can thank you dear puppies of mine! :)

Anyway, I know you’re probably wondering why I even bothered myself writing a letter to you and online?! Come on people! Why online?! There could be thousands out there checking out this letter and saying “Dude, the person who wrote this must be insane” and I totally agree~ I’m insane!!!

You still probably don’t get me… and I know that after all the times that we’ve been thru you know I’m a frank person when asked “What’s wrong?”, so here goes nothing: I don’t think we’re friends anymore. “What?!” that must’ve been your first reaction if you took that seriously and if not, you would probably have laughed your ass off… well, I’m serious.

I know we’ve been thru a lot and I really value those moments! You’re one of the few I truly consider as my best, best friend! And I was even imagining enjoying my future with you still on my friend list! Come on, I told you everything – at least almost everything as far my memory is concerned – I could possibly tell anyone and I think you did the same too. Yes, I said I think because I’m not really sure. You did say you trust me and I’m one of your closest friends too and I really appreciate that! I was so touched when you said that but somehow… the quote “Actions speak louder than words” kept on repeating in my head right now like some kind of advertisement in tv that reminds you that this product of theirs is blah, blah and stuff… and you know what? It just plunged itself into my heart like a knife sharpened for this very moment!!! Grr… deeper than I had expected...

Lately, I’m being an asshole and starts getting emotional – you know, my usual drama? Still remember some of them? Probably irritated you to death ha? I have some serious mood problems… hehehe. Anyway, lately, I’ve been feeling neglected and unremembered. I miss you a lot and I tried contacting you hoping that even just for a minute of your busy life I could get thru to you and hear you say “Hi!!! I miss you! How have you been?” but somehow, no matter what I do I couldn’t reach you… It was like… there’s this thought in my mind that told me, you would try to contact me back, like old times, extend your hand to me back when I have mine extended to yours for a long time now and I felt that somehow you don’t plan to extend your hand anymore. Metaphorical or Dramatic, which is it? Well that’s for you to think and about and that’s what all about me! Little ‘ol crazy me… I’m probably just overly emotional right now so I’m getting so worked up about such a little thing of negligence… but you know what? No matter how emotional I am right now, I am definitely sane enough to know what I’m saying and I don’t think I’ll regret every word I’ve typed in here… because as of now, this is just one of the very few moments wherein my mind listens to my heart – like a connection or a planetary alignment that happens only in a thousand or million or billions of years – which allows me to put into words what my heart is crying out for a long time now... Pain.

I don’t need sympathy or your apologetic attention right now, all I want is for you to know what’s happening with me and how I feel… and what move comes next after this? It is all up to you. Be it, we would be close friends again or we start going on our separate lives just like what you’re doing right now, so be it! I trust everything in your better judgment, you’re smarter than me. I’m an idiot and an idiot I will always be. May God guide you in your life, this may be the last time I may say this as a best friend because the next time we meet, I would probably treat you the way I treat my other friends because I don’t want to be hurt anymore. Hurt, to the point that I may never heal again, because I can’t hide the fact that I want to talk to you, hang out with you, tell you my opinions in life, joke around with you – old times sake and even for the new times! So for this one truthful moment of my life, let me say this to you “I miss you”

Yours truly,

Your Best Friend

This has been one of the most dramatic letters I’ve written all my life but so far… this is by far, one of the best!!! The tears are going down the drain, the pain is slowly easing, the heartaches slowly fade and as of now, I could close my eyes and sleep in peace. I can rest, then after that, I’ll wake up wearing the best smile I haven’t worn for a long time… my heart.

Ocean's Eleven

2008-04-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

I grabbed this from this blog. I really enjoyed her version of this :) Thanks for letting me snag this! :D

Name 11 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don’t read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 11 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first.. No cheating.

1. Luisa
2. Janice
3. Sarah
4. Janel
5. Gian
6. Albert
7. Jigo
8. Simon
9. Mau
10. Iris
11. Judith

HERE GOES NOTHING.... :O

1.HOW DID YOU MEET #4?
I met her when I found out she's an anime fan! YAY~!

2.WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT # 6?
Err... he's my 'dad' at school so school won't be complete without him!

3.WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF #2 AND # 6 WERE GOING OUT?
They haven't met yet.. when they did... i'll think about it!

4.WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF #5 CONFESSED HE/SHE LOVES YOU ?
Eeeeeeeww... GIAN LIKES ME?! NO WAY!

5.WHO’S #10′S BEST FRIEND?
Judith, Gian and Janel

6.HAVE YOU EVER EATEN AROUND #1?
Always, she treats me :)

7.DO YOU MISS #2?
YES!!! I MISS HER A LOT! T.T

8.WHO IS #11 DATING?
No one else... but me ;) (Okay... we're both girls just so you know and this is a freaking joke! she's dating no one!! hahaha!)

9.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF #3?
One word: YUCK!!!!!!

10.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF #9?
He's a really good friend! :)

11.WHAT WOULD U DO IF #4 AND #7 were dating?
Umm... no comment? I'm slightly affected... :D

12.WOULD YOU MARRY #8?
Nope, I haven't thought of him that way.

13.DO YOU LOVE #10?
I do! :) She's a really good friend!

14.EVER SLEPT IN THE SAME ROOM AS ANY OF THE NUMBERS?
Yes. And they know when...! :D

That was a bit wacky! hahaha! and I really enjoyed it! hahah! Thanks for letting me snag this!

Road Trip

2008-03-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

Manila-Dagupan-Baguio-San Fabian-Binangonan-Dagupan-Manila

.Manila.

Six of the eight people in the trip met up in UST and were escorted via Sarah's dad from UST to the bus station of Victory Liner in Cubao. The other two, who were Mau and Simon, met up at Gateway and sadly, they experienced some inconvenience so it took some time before they met up with up on the bus station but when they arrived at almost 11 we took the earliest bus we can, the 10:40 am bus to Dagupan so our journey started.

.Dagupan.

We were welcomed by Lui's dad who was really friendly and patient with us. Though we were tired, we knew that there are lots of things that we could still do on our short stay but today, we decided to just cool it and take things slowly. After harvesting some mangoes from Lui's backyard and eating it on their terrace. We watched Sweeney Todd in the evening and had some fortune telling session, courtesy of Simon.

.Baguio.

At an early hour, we woke up and prepared for our road trip to Baguio, we met Kuya July, who is our driver thanks to Lui's dad. :) We stayed on a cabin courtesy of Lui's aunt this time. The cabin was big and comfortable! The place is cold and you don't need an aircon or an electric fan to refreshen yourself in the summer heat! We went to different places and admittedly, the cold weather and the beautiful sceneries are a great combination! At around 6, we went home to cook dinner: fried chicken, mash potato, gravy and mushroom soup. We had dinner at 9 and the others drank alcohol till 3am, I didn't join them since I wasn't allowed by my mom! :D

.San Fabian and Binangonan.

We stayed in Baguio till 12 in the morning and left to go to San Fabian in Pangasinan. The journey leaving Baguio, especially our cabin is a sad one as we were all at 'home' there and I won't deny than the place had the most welcoming aura of all and I couldn't help but feel sad leaving it. We stayed at San Fabian for the afternoon, it is in Lui's uncle's place. They were old people, kind and welcoming. The beach has a black sand and sadly, we didn't take a dip as we saw some stray jelly fish on the shore which isn't really inviting. But we collected some shells and they buried my feet on the sand which was fun. I guess the fun isn't in swimming, but on how we spend our time together. :) Later this night, we went to Binangonan to meet up with Lui's mom. Lui's dad picked us up from San Fabian and left us at Binangonan, there Lui's mom greeted us and we were showed around their home. It was a nice place and I searched Lui's room for pics and stuff and I found some! haha! Lui's looks like Pat, her lil' sis when she was younger! :) Her mom made us have dinner in a restaurant and the food was great, I had a second serving or calamares! Love it! :) We went home early as we were tired and weary from the journey.

.Dagupan.

We went home early, meaning we didn't stay to long but it was really late. We went to the bus station at around 1pm but we had a photo op earlier that morning and below this text is one of the many pictures we had at that time! It was really fun and admittedly, a moment that I want to treasure for the rest of my life. It's Mau's birthday by the way (Happy birthday Mau!!!). I couldn't help but laugh as I feel my body give away from fatigue yet in the back of my mind... "This ain't the last time I'll be here"

.Manila.

So we all went to the bus station with Lui escorting us... it was a bit sad as we boarded the bus and knowing that the four days of fun is ending... we had Lui take a picture of us from outside the bus so this is the outcome... I couldn't help but feel a bit sad that we're going but then again, we have a new home to go to when we're in Dagupan, so why do I have to be sad?

I know that I just typed a lot of places and I could assure you that traveling from one place to another can be really tiring.. and the most tiring fact is that we did it within four days... how? I don't know how, myself. Everything just happened!

"In a journey that involves people you love, every time spent is well treasured"

Arashi sings "Happiness"

2008-02-02T22:03:00.000-08:00

Happiness by Arashi

Mukai kaze no naka de nagei teru yori mo
Umaku iku koto wo souzou sure ba
Itsu no hi ka kawaru toki ga kuru
Muchu de ikite tara nani ge nai koto de
Ai ga kizu tsui te tamerai nagara
Nando mo tachi agaru yo

Omoi de no ato saki wo kangae tara samishi sugiru ne
Sawaga shi mirai ga mukou de Kitto matteru kara

Hashiri dase hashiri dase
asu wo mukae ni ikou Kimi dake no oto wo kikasete yo zenbu kanji teru yo
Tomenaide tomenaide
ima wo ugokasu kimochi Don nani chiisana tsubomi demo
Hitotsu dake no Happiness

Namida no kimochi sae kotoba ni dekinai
Shiawase no niji ha nani iro nante
Kinishi naku te ii kara

Kotae wo mitsuke you to omoide mata tsumi kasane teru
Koko kara atarashii basyo he nani mo osore nai de

Tooku made tooku made doko made mo tsuduku michi
Kimi dake no koe wo kikasete yo zutto soba ni iru yo
Tomenaide tomenaide zutto sinjiru kimochi
Ima ha na mo nai tsubomi dakedo
Hitotsu dake no Happiness

Hashiri dase hashiri dase
asu wo mukae ni ikou Kimi dake no oto wo kikasete yo zenbu kanji teru yo
Tomenaide tomenaide
ima wo ugokasu kimochi Don nani chiisana tsubomi demo
Hitotsu dake no Happiness

A funny video in its own way. I couldn't help but add it as my favorite Arashi video so far, because the mood here is fun, it's simple. It merely portrayed how much they want to show that people have 'happiness'. It is quite cute really, though I highly disapproved Ninomiya Kazunari flirting with Ohno or having Aiba bit his head, grrr... stupid jboys, acting accordingly to what the fans want...huhuh, Joke! Well, I just don't like seeing Nino (Ninomiya Kazunari's nickname) acting like an uke to anyone...! T.T

Anyway, the video has a simple theme which you'll enjoy and nonetheless, something you'll be able to laugh at! Let's spread the Jpop Love~ :D

Letter of Request

2008-02-02T21:51:00.000-08:00

University of Santo Tomas
College of Arts and Letters
Theology IV:

Social Involvement

COMMUNITY SERVICE

Sir/ Ma’am:

Greetings!

It is an honour for us to be able to hand this letter of request to you today. This request is with regards to one of the basic requirement of our course in Social Involvement, we would like to ask you of a favour, that you, Sir/Ma’am, allow us to perform a short presentation to one or two classes under your supervision, about the hazards and must-do in cleaning the environment. It will be a privilege for us to be able to reach out to the students and inform them of the reasons on why we should keep the environment clean. If you would like to check the contents of our short presentation, then we will gladly show you of our plans and the things we have prepared to present to the students, which we assure to be environment-friendly and does not show explicit contents that is not suitable for young audience.

We give our regards and thanks for the time you have spent in considering our request, we pray you good day and hope that we receive your response soon.

Thank you and God bless.

Respectfully yours,

2 BES 1

Professor-in-charge:

_________________________

Professor E. Sanchez, PhD

Students from 2 Behavioral Science 1:

______________ ________________ ________________

Bayron, Sarah Jane Gamboa III, Mauro Locara, Merriam Grace

__________________ ___________________

Ovideo, Luisa Santiago, Iris

Damn! Damn! Damn!

2008-02-02T21:26:00.000-08:00

I am so depressed... I don't know why, but whenever I'm alone and allowed to think of random stuffs, I couldn't help but cry and go crazy. Why? I don't know. I guess the stress that I'm working as hard as I can at school, taking the problems all at once and at the same time troubled by the people surrounding me... I won't deny that it's all getting into me. The stress. I am so tired right now and what more, no body understands. Yes, no body. I'm actually crying right now just thinking about it! Can you believe that? I'm stupid. An idiot. A nincampoop. I'll die like this if I keep this up you know. Haha.

The fact is... my family doesn't understand the stress they are giving me, nor have they noticed the stress I'm going through.... I'm so tired... too tired... my body can still keep up but my heart can't. I'm no longer sure if I can last up to tomorrow. Tears just kept falling and I can't hold back... the more I hold back the more they fall. Pain. It exists... deep within my heart.

Not my family, not my friends, no body understands the pressure my heart is receiving right now, I thought that it has always been okay at first... but now. I know. It's not okay. There's no way for it to be all okay. Whatever I do, I'll always be in pain, and no matter how hard I try to fight and face it head on, I'll always be defeated, you know why?

...because, as long as no body asked me what's wrong... it'll never be right.

"Our Theology Project Documentary"

2008-01-22T03:22:00.000-08:00

After watching this short clip, you would probably wonder why the heck I posted this funny video in cleaning one's home plus why I entitled this blog entry as "Our Theology Project Documentary... well, there's a story here so you better read! :D

Our topic is about the environment, well it's generally the basic thing, cleaning the environment, etc. etc.! I made the whole program in an hour's time because I wasn't able to work on it last night, well, thanks to my brother and sister who are lovingly using the computer... arrgh! and since I was sleepy due to lack of sleep since the past week, I decided to just work on it today, this morning.... *sigh* it is really bad so I really need everyone's help on this, but anyway! About the video!

The video is about cleaning the house, it is taken from the anime Perfect Girl Evolution or Yamato Nadesico Shichi Henge.I really enjoyed downloading the video because the scenes were comical yet the explanation were true so considering the fact that we're about to face grade 5 to grade 6 students, it is best to go down their age and go to their field of interest so our talk or rather, our presentation would be able to both entertain them and educate them! That's the sole purpose of everything right?

So relating the video to our topic, if you have learned to clean your own home from the inside then learning to clean and maintaining the cleanliness of your surroundings won't be much of a problem, I really just want to extend the idea to the students for them to learn and understand the importance of cleanliness.

So I posted this for my groupmates, hope they enjoyed it! :D

- Powerpoint presentation - Invitation (Publication) -

This is the picture version of the Invitation

Stories I've Written and Published!

2008-01-20T09:18:00.000-08:00

I wrote these stories out of impulse and I owe a lot of people who have spent their time reading and reviewing them, I owe everyone for spending their time on my stories... but anyway, I just want to post the 10 stories I have published so far with 2 of them still on-going!

1. Boo! Boo! Boo! The Spiritual Baby
Summary: Daa! Daa! UFO Baby inspired story: Mikan was asked by her grandfather to stay with a family friend the Hyuuga not expecting to meet a seriously illmannered boy, Natsume Hyuuga and what’s worst? She just became a ‘Mama’ of a baby who controls ghost

2. Rocking My World
Summary: Mikan is a newbie rockstar. She formed an allgirls band and so far her greatest nemesis is none other than the other band... which is allboys, Natsume Hyuuga’s band. Now she plans to prove that women rules!

3. Mistaken
Summary: Mikan loves no one else as her boyfriend except Natsume but after his long absence Mikan slowly realized that somehow her longing for him rubbed on other people… and that is how mistaken she is… it’s a bigtime mistake. [NxM]

4. The Promise
Summary: Mikan always loved Natsume as her best friend ever since childhood but their past is also the reason for her to hate him. Can she ever love him again?

5. Love: Just Like Boxing
Summary: these are 3 different love moments between a boy and a girl and it is to decide who has more control... women or men? Let the fight begin crappy right? Ü Pairings: NxM & TxM & RxH

6. Friendly Push
Summary: Momo and Ryoma played a game of doubles against the golden pair but they kept on fighting until Fuji tried to cool them off… which resulted to a next Golden Pair or better? Momo X Ryoma, slight Eiji X Oishi and slight Fuji X Tezuka [One Shot]

7. Hyuuga Forgets
Summary: After the war... there are still certain unhealed casualties but of course if it's something that medicine can't cure... love is the solution! NejiXTenten slight SakuraXSasuke

8. The Setup
Summary: Hotaru found out that Ruka likes Mikan so she wants to help the guy to confess...

9. Christmas Party
Summary: Mikan is left behind by everyone and there's nothing she can do about it... but wait...not everyone... there's still Natsume... O.o natsumeXmikan and rukaXhotaru

10. Kissing: A Sacred Thing to Do
Summary: This started when Naruto accidentally kissed Sakura in the crowd, he didn’t mean to but then it started a big problem! Sasuke in fury, Ino feeling left out by Shikamaru, Temari on Shikamaru’s trail, Hinata looking gloomy, Neji feeling a left out by Ten Ten… It’s all because Naruto was trying to find Hinata and Sakura was just buying some snacks…

How long has it been...

2008-01-20T08:55:00.000-08:00

How long has it been since... I last updated my friendster account?

...Probably more than two weeks by now, I haven't even bothered opening it since the last time. I can't blame anybody for saying that I'm such a lazy girl not to open my account, and what more, not even replying to all the comments given to me by my friends... I am quite busy nowadays with thinking how much I want to escape the evil grasps of friendster, I'm not addicted to it, it is simply with regards to the fact that I hate a lot of people whenever I check my friendster account, I feel envious that she would leave a message to them and not to me, or they'll be talking and updating each other there yet no matter how much I try to join in they won't even fill me in...

How long has it been since... I last properly signed in on my yahoo messenger?

...Well, I am always online and is always checking my yahoo mail, but somehow, having people buzz me or pop me just so they could talk to me irritates me. It's a hustle on how I must entertain them when it was their fault that they are talking to me in the first place. Also, I didn't like the idea of having to talk to people even if my status clearly states that I'm busy, I only signed because I am waiting for someone or I need to be informed about something... you get the idea! I don't like talking to people who only force their selves to talk to me, come on! isn't that quite rude? and anyway, there are even some whom I call my BESTFRIEND ignoring me happily, good for that person, right?

How long has it been since... I last updated my fanfiction stories?

...Well, I just updated one last night... I was a bit guilty because the last time I updated that was way back in June or July of 2007, so it's already January of 2008! Can you believe how stupid I was to delay it for too long? Oh well, I am an impulsive writer as I have always claimed, I won't be satisfied with well-written works, I want to write what I feel and what I have seen! I want people to feel the reality that I write in my works despite always writing fantasy stuffs!

How long has it been since... I posted anything on my blogs?

...There isn't really much to say here, because I was practically thirsty for a lay-out that fits my image! Okay, nothing will ever fit, but what I want to say is that I really wanted to have something that I could present as me, something that whenever people would check it out, they would say, okay Katleya owns this, right? I mean, I want something to be proud of! Anyway, that's a different story!

How long has it been since... I was last depressed?

...This is an everyday thing, so I won't deny that just last Friday I was depressed over something, and even now something is bothering me to the point that I update my blog! CAn you believe that?!? Nah? Okay, good! :D But seriously, something really bugged me when I came home last Friday but generally, it's all good now, so I'm quite happy and excited of what God has prepared for me!

How long has it been since... I cried for myself?

...Lately, or I'm not sure when, tears that I shed were no longer for me... they were always for other people, I feel their pain, I feel their suffering to the point that I cry and pity them without being disrespectful. I am sad whenever I see people suffering, I hate the face of anguish and despair, I love watching people smile and relax, laugh and enjoy the beauty of the world... so whenever I watch news and heard of an untimely and cruel death, tears of sadness comes out, even if it's not for me, I know that I cried for them.

How long has it been since... I told my friends of everything I am keeping inside of me?

...The possibility of fully opening up is really low, my trust for others have greatly sunk, I'm not sure anymore on how to extend my hand to them, but I know! If they extend their hands to me, I may be able to say something... something real and something deep in my heart.

Talk about kids!

2007-12-02T14:57:00.000-08:00

So what is wrong with this video?

For starters... it is the fact that I am nowhere to be found all throughout the short clip! Secondly, it is because you have no idea whatsoever who the two girls in the video are... don't worry this ain't a scam! I'm not a pimp you know! Third and Lastly, what the heck is happening in the video?!?!

Take a deep breathe first before I start telling you what happened that day and why it resulted to this... inhumane acts?! hahaha!

It was Saturday, I had nothing much to do. My aunt asked me if I could take care of her children that Saturday and be their representative as the 'family'. Well, since I was a bit light-headed at that time, I wasn't able to comprehend the question properly... now that I remembered it, did they ask me or simply told me to do it? haha! Can't remember! :P

Anyway, when Saturday came, I took those two girls. The one with the eye glasses is Nicole Mae while the one sitting on the stone is Leila Patricia. Nicole is at grade two since she's the oldest and Leila is at grade one.

The whole day, I've been entertained by kids... well it figures, but not by my cousins! Kids that I've only seen for the first time... you know why? That's because I was so bored that I just decided to draw something really nice or entertaining. Not that I'm that good, well, it was simply because I needed to do something. Sigh. It was one of the scariest experience I had! haha! Well, just think about it! Kids flooding your eyeview asking you this and that and also nagging you about certain things that I can't even understand immediately... you get the idea right?

Anyway, after the whole event the two kids didn't want to go home. They even nagged to go to that large though actually small grassland near the entrance. It was a nice view and I like it... but what they did there is the funny part!

They were practically running here and there... everywhere and even tagged me along in their game and I didn't care if I look like a mom playing with her kids. Listen, I ate so much that lunch that I want to burn whatever I took in or at least use some of it! So I guess, this was at the very least, worth it!

Anyway... at the video, they requested me to do it! Nicole wanted to look like a happy kid rolling in the grass which is very humane. Children love to roll in the grass, even I, and she is no exception but as for Leila... that's a different discussion! When she first sat at the rock, she knew immediately that it was hot so when I took Nicole's video, she insisted on me taking hers too... which is crying in pain because the rock what hot... :O Normal? err... you could that... okay no!

Hehehe.. I hope you enjoyed that... at least I did! :D

Reminder (=T.T=)

2007-10-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

Buzz... Buzz... Buzz. Okay shut up you cellphone reminder you! Okay, so what does it say today? Projects? Assignments? Don't tell me I forgot to meet up with someone? Oh wait, maybe I was supposed to buy something important, so what does it say: "Be Sad".

Okay, that was weird. Who would ever want to be sad?! I want to be happy, as in h-a-p-p-y 24/7 nonstop. I would love to spend a fun day with my friends and family, morning till dawn, till the next day, till... I drop dead on bed and go to sleep. Yup, that's how I wanted everything to happen… so who in the proper mind would want to be reminded to ‘Be Sad’ when it is great to be happy?! But then, not everyone may have noticed this, it is a good reminder to be sad because it reminds us.

Just like the cellphone reminder, Sadness is a reminder. It reminds us of how the circle of life rolls, that sometimes you're on top and you're down. It reminds us that we can't have everything in the world. It reminds us that nothing is perfect. It reminds us how much we need to stick to one path. It reminds us of one really important thing in our life… it reminds us how valuable happiness is.

Everyday, we pray for happiness. We hope that every day would be great, it would be either spending a really fun day with your friends or hang out with you special someone without a fight. Yup, that’s what most people pray for because they want to have happiness. If I ask you “Why do you like being happy?”, how would you answer? If I were asked, I would probably answer that it’s because being happy feels great or because it allows you to close your eyes peacefully in the evening with a silly smile on your face as you remembered the moments that happened earlier. Those are the probable answer but it never gave a sufficient reason on ‘Why you value it’, and the right answer? Sadness.

There is the theory called “Reinforcement Theory”. It focuses on the aspect that people have a tendency to repeat actions with favorable results and avoid actions that have negative results. It is the same with sadness and happiness. The reason that people wants to be happy is because of the favorable result or the favorable feeling we experience whenever we are happy. As for sadness, the reason we are reminded of happiness when sad is because it has a negative result, negative feelings that can really pull us down. During the times that the negative result is still there, we would keep in mind that we should avoid this the next time around so that it won’t result to this and then finally, this about the time when the favorable situation happened.

Still don’t understand what the whole point of sadness is? Well, here goes. This is the simplest way to explain it: Have you ever experienced when eating your favorite food everyday, breakfast lunch and dinner with afternoon snack included, YUMMY! It would be the best day of your life every, right? That’s the whole idea. If you are to have happiness everyday, then what’s new? You could probably send a message to heaven and hell, “What use are you if we’re all already having loads of fun here on earth?” So sadness appeared, because God wanted to remind us how much we want to have happiness… eternal happiness. It reminded us that only with him will we be happy forever.

So don’t be sad that you’re sad but rather believe in the greater purpose of everything. You may not enjoy being sad now but it comes with a great purpose we are hardly aware of. Open your eyes, because there are a lot of things that remains unexplained yet has a great purpose for our life’s journey. On a funnier note, what if the cockroach has a greater purpose than any insect in the world?

***Submitted article to the BES Focus

**Unpublished and still under my copyright

*Inspired by understanding the words of God

monopoly

2007-10-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

Cable TV Companies are a monopoly. It is because of the fact that they have complete power over a certain area. Following the law of supply and demand, if the supply is low then the clamor for it is high, and because the demand is high. They have the power to maximize the amount of money they will charge their customers. This is how Cable TV Companies are able to monopolize.

With regards to the fact that there are different forms of entertainment that can, nonetheless, satisfy one’s need for music, movie or sitcoms through direct satellite, movie theaters and radio. But the fact remains that Cable TV Companies are a monopoly, it is because of man’s unlimited wants and needs. It is a fact that there are different ways to meet one’s need for entertainment but there will always come a time when they would experience scarcity. The fact remains that because of Cable TV’s great number of shows available, the need for entertainment is immediately satisfied. As for those direct satellite, movie and radio entertainment, they provide only a limited amount of programs that doesn’t always satisfy one’s need for other things.
One of the proofs here is a person who loves watching nature program and is constantly in search for them, if this person is using a direct satellite he might find some nature program that would last for an hour or so but must be replaced by a new show later on, but if this person has a cable tv, he would be able to access different nature programs of his choice: National Geographic Channel, Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, etc.

***Submitted for my brother to a friend of his

**I made this in a rush.. for like a couple of minutes

*This taught me something really nice :)